Roommates | 6. pitching a tent
Pairing: p*rnstar!joel x f!reader
Chapter Summary: Tommy plans a mysterious camping trip. Even though you bring Sam along, you still can't resist leaning into your affair with Joel, and secrets finally get revealed.
Chapter Warnings: language, infidelity, alcohol use, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex, creampie, dirty talk, jealousy, possessiveness, angst, heartbreak, one teeny tiny fist fight
WC: 9.9K
Series Masterlist
It was early. It must have been because your room was cast in a blue hue and it was completely silent. Not even a single bird chirped outside your window yet. But something woke you up. Your tired mind tried to remember what it was and then you heard the familiar sound again: the squeaking of Joel's door just down the hall. Then the padding of heavy footsteps slowly making their way across the hall and pausing outside the bathroom.
Then panic set in because it wasn't Joel who you heard. It couldn't be because he was clutching your middle, spooning you with his face buried in the back of your neck. His deep, even breaths told you he was still asleep so he didn't hear Tommy groggily walk back towards his bedroom.
Your mind finally cleared away the fog and you realized what happened: Joel accidentally fell asleep in your bed after sneaking into your room late the night before and he left his phone charging next to his bed. The alarm must have woken Tommy up and now he knew Joel wasn't in his room.
Not f*cking good.
"Joel!" you whispered loudly, twisting around and shoving his chest until his grip loosened and he groaned.
"What?"
"Your f*cking alarm! Tommy heard it-"
"sh*t!" he mumbled, rolling out of your bed at lightning speed and tugging his pajama pants back on. "I'll pretend I was out for a smoke or somethin'."
He disappeared quietly out into the hall and you pulled the covers over your head in despair. You were getting sloppy and it was just a matter of time before something like this happened.
It had been weeks of this. Months, technically, of sneaking around, stealing little touches and glances when nobody was looking. At first, you only messed around when you were home alone. Then it escalated one night when the both of you had stayed up to watch a movie in the living room. You couldn't remember how the movie ended but the night ended with Joel f*cking you slow and deep into the couch, one of his hands covering your mouth while he whispered filth in your ear.
After that, Joel would occasionally sneak into your room at night. It was always your room because his shared a wall with Tommy and Maria. As if a few extra feet made any difference.
You would laugh at how stupid that seemed now if you weren't so scared of getting caught.
To your credit, you began to pull away from Sam, but he remained clueless. If he picked up on your distance he didn't let it show, but you had a feeling the exciting new job offer from Miles Cohen played a part in distracting him.
As he had suspected and hoped, lunch with Mr. Cohen had ulterior motives. After a few more meetings and dinners with other partners, a formal job offer was extended: junior partner status with a huge sign on bonus and incentive deal, on top of an already impressive salary.
He couldn't possibly say no.
Sam only had a week left at your firm before he began his new job. Being the stand up guy he is, he offered to stay on to wrap up any open cases he could and then transferred the rest to other attorneys.
Unfortunately, the entire situation just made things so much easier for you to sneak around with Joel.
Miraculously, Tommy didn't bring up Joel's alarm later that morning. You were braced for it, waiting with a perfectly rehearsed surprised reaction, but nothing ever came. However, Tommy was acting strange. He dropped silverware on the ground more than once when he was emptying the dishwasher and he put his shirt on inside out. It was obvious something was on his mind and you remained paranoid the entire day.
Does Tommy know?
No, don't think so. Didn't say anything to me.
You gotta relax.
You chewed your lip, the anxiety still clawing in the back of your mind. Something was off, you could feel it.
"Hey, you think you want this plant?" Sam asked from somewhere behind you, startling you with a gasp.
"Christ!" you exclaimed when you spun around at your desk, but he just chuckled.
"Jumpy?"
"No!" you said defensively. "Just... focused. You scared me. What is that?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at the half dead English ivy in his hands.
"A plant, I asked if you wanted it? I'm cleaning out my office and I got it as a Christmas gift a few years back but I never remember to water the damn thing."
"Oh. Yeah, sure," you replied before reaching out and taking it. You examined the browning leaves then placed it on the corner of your desk. Sam eyed you for a moment before glancing around and stepping further into your cube so he could lower his voice.
"I know a lot's been going on lately but I wanted to thank you," he said, lightly brushing your hair off your shoulder with a smile.
"Thank me?" you repeated, "for what?"
For cheating on you?
"For putting up with all the craziness. I know I haven't been as available as I'd like to be while this transition is going on but I promise once things settle down, I'll make it up to you."
You forced a smile, hoping you were selling it and Sam couldn't see the guilt written across your face. If he only knew how you'd been spending your time while he was busy climbing the corporate ladder.
"It's no problem," you finally managed to squeak out. He leaned forward and gave you a gentle kiss on your lips and then the tip of your nose before straightening up.
"Have you thought more about moving in together?"
f*ck. He had been bringing it up more and more lately and you knew you would have to give him an answer one way or another soon.
"Why don't we wait to talk about it til you start the new job? I don't want to put too much on your plate at once. Just focus on this first."
He gave you another smile and pinched your chin. "You're so thoughtful. How'd I get so lucky?"
Your stomach churned violently, the stress of what you were doing beginning to take a physical toll. You swallowed roughly and tried to think of something to say but fortunately your desk phone rang, interrupting you.
"It's Maria, one second," you told him, picking up the receiver. "Hey, can I call-"
"I think Tommy's cheating on me."
Your eyes widened in shock and you looked at Sam. He furrowed his brow when you whispered a panicked "what do you mean?"
"He's acting really weird lately. The other day he said he was working but when I drove by the bar to go to the store, his truck wasn't there. And then last week I accidentally opened his credit card bill and he, like, freaked the f*ck out." You could hear the emotion in her voice ratcheting up more and more as she spoke.
"Okay, calm down," you said, "I'll be right over." You hung up your phone and gave Sam an apologetic smile. "I gotta go find Maria, she's freaking out."
"Sure thing. I'll call you later?"
You nodded and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek before hurrying across the floor to Maria's side of the office. How could you be so wrapped up in your own bullsh*t that you didn't even stop to think that Tommy's behavior had to do with something else entirely?
When you arrived at her office, you tapped lightly on the door so she knew you were behind her and she swiveled around. Maria shared an office space with two other women who, fortunately, did not appear to be around, so you closed the door behind you and sat down.
"Okay, start from the beginning."
Maria went on for twenty minutes, detailing all the little red flags throughout the past month or so of strange behavior. Taking a private call here, hiding an email there, all of which didn't really alarm her until his overreaction to the credit card bill.
"I don't think he's ever gotten so upset before," she told you. "He was like, straight up panicking, you know?"
You gnawed on your lower lip anxiously and nodded. "There's gotta be a reasonable explanation. Tommy isn't that type." Your own words made you pause. You never thought you were that type, either.
"I don't care. I think I want to cancel this camping trip," she said as she angrily picked up her phone.
"sh*t, when is that?" you asked and she rolled her eyes at you.
"Next weekend. Didn't you ask Sam to come?"
You cringed and she dropped her phone, giving you a disappointed look. "Come on, what the hell? You were supposed to ask him weeks ago!"
"I know, I just forgot! With his new job and everything..." you trailed off, knowing it was a poor excuse.
"What's going on with you two? First, you didn't invite him to game night-"
"Not true, you just beat me to it," you corrected her.
"Then you didn't want to invite him to dinner, and when the guys needed help fixing the water heater you didn't want to ask." Her eyes widened and she gasped. "Are you gonna break up with him?"
You balked. "What? No!" you said defensively, but something in your face gave you away because she folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes. "I'm not, I'm just distracted lately. I'll ask him before we go home today. Unless you're cancelling the whole weekend now."
"No, I'm just being dramatic. I won't cancel it," she sighed, "unless I catch him red handed, then it's cancelled because I'll be in jail for beating his ass."
You both giggled and you immediately felt relieved Maria seemed more like herself. On your way back to your desk, you thought over what she said about Sam. She wasn't wrong, you had been pulling away more and more lately and gravitating towards Joel. You knew the right thing to do would be to break up with him. Even you had to admit by now you were only keeping him around for selfish reasons. But every time you saw his sweet, smiling face, you chickened out.
When you eventually did invite him to the camping trip he moved his plans around to be sure he could make it because he genuinely felt bad about not spending as much time with you lately. Just when you thought you couldn't feel any worse about the situation, the look on Joel's face when you got home and Maria mentioned Sam was able to come on the camping trip made your stomach twist in shame.
You weren't built for this. The anxiety and guilt and shame was taking it's toll, so you decided to take the week before the trip to do some soul searching because when the weekend was over, you were going to have to let one of them go.
"Tell me why we couldn't just rent a cabin again?" you moaned to Maria as you watched Joel and Tommy pack up one of the trucks with camping tents that looked less than comfortable.
"Because it was their idea and they wanted to 'rough it'," she replied, using air quotes and nodding in the direction of the brothers. "Trust me, I tried."
"Well, they're banned from planning any activities in the near future because sleeping on the bumpy ground with a thin layer of canvas protecting me from god knows what is not my idea of a good time." You unzipped your duffel bag and sifted through it, double checking you didn't forget anything.
"I'm with you there," she grumbled. You glanced up at Maria and shot a look in Tommy's direction, confirming he was out of earshot before leaning forward.
"Any change?"
She shrugged. "He seems pretty normal this week but I don't know if it's this stupid trip that's changing his attitude or what."
You hummed and looked back at the brothers in the driveway loading up the truck. You had a hard time seeing Tommy as a cheater but Maria presented a convincing case. Your eyes lingered on Joel as he lifted the hem of his white t-shirt and wiped his face with it, revealing his tanned torso and a light trail of hair that disappeared below the waistband of his khaki shorts. When he dropped his shirt back down his eyes found yours as if he was hoping you would be watching and shot you a secretive wink, immediately stirring butterflies in your stomach.
You had no idea how you were going to survive the weekend.
"What time's Sam coming?" Maria asked once she looked up from the cooler, where she had been evenly distributing ice over the food you had packed.
"He's going to meet us there, he's coming from the opposite side of the city so it didn't make sense for him to drive with us."
Maria frowned. "Why didn't you just have him stay over last night?"
You swallowed nervously and shrugged. "He was working late."
Luckily, she didn't push the issue. "I don't know if we would have been able to fit his stuff, anyway. Looks like the truck is already filling up."
You bent over to help her lift the first cooler and carried it between you to the tailgate.
"Thanks, girls," Tommy said before taking it from you and hoisting it into the bed of the truck. When you turned to follow Maria back to the house to grab the next one, you felt Joel's fingertips lightly graze your back but you didn't dare look over your shoulder. He was usually better at being more subtle and you vaguely wondered what got into him but unfortunately, there wasn't going to be enough privacy to ask because once the truck was all loaded up, he climbed into the passenger seat so he could give Tommy directions while you and Maria squeezed into the back, finding narrow spots to sit between all the bags.
The hour long drive to the campground was filled with Tommy singing along badly to some country music on the radio while you and Maria took pictures from the backseat, making sure to take a couple selfies where it looked like you were being crushed by all the bags.
"Oh god, is there electricity? Like, can we charge our phones at least?" you asked.
"The hell you need your phone for? Can't you just unplug for a few days and connect with nature?" Joel teased from the front seat.
"Well when you're being chased by a bear and I can't call for help because my phone's dead, I'll just tell you to connect with nature."
Joel and Tommy chuckled while Maria looked up the website for the campground. "We're good. There's a charging station near the bathrooms."
"Cell service probably ain't that great though," Tommy added. You turned to Maria and made a face.
"I'll climb a damn mountain to get service if I have to," she whispered, and you both dissolved into a fit of giggles.
When you arrived and found the campsite Tommy had reserved, you received a text from Sam letting you know he was only thirty minutes away. The two of you left the tents for the brothers to handle while you worried about unpacking and storing the food and drinks, then went about to collect some unused firewood from abandoned campsites.
"I think I read there's a general store somewhere if we need more ice or wood," Maria told you.
"Oh, thank god. Even if we don't, it'll be nice to hide from all the bugs, even for a little while." She bit her lip and stopped walking back to camp, making you swivel around. "What's wrong?"
"Listen, I was thinking... I know we aren't crazy about this whole camping thing, but Tommy seems really into it and I don't want to rain on his parade. Can we keep the complaining to just us?"
"Of course," you said with a smile.
"He's in a good mood and not acting so weird lately and I don't want to ruin it."
"Maria, it's fine, I totally get it. I don't want to ruin it for him, either," you assured her.
By the time you made it back to your campsite, Tommy and Joel had managed to assemble two of the three tents.
"Joel, lucky you. Getting a tent all to yourself so you can stretch out," Maria said, dropping her armful of wood by the fire pit. He only grunted in response and you saw Tommy shoot her a warning look when he thought you weren't paying attention. She mouthed something back to him and you furrowed your brows, trying to look busy but also trying to figure out what they were saying.
There was no possible way Maria knew what was going on between you and Joel because she would have never been able to keep that from you, so your paranoia was kept at bay, but it was definitely something they didn't want either of you to hear.
A rumble of a car and tires crunching on gravel alerted you to Sam slowly approaching, his black Audi looking ridiculously out of place in the woods. You gave him a wave when he parked and you jogged over to give him a kiss and help him with his bags because even though Maria insisted he didn't need to bring anything, he still brought some extra bags of chips and some donuts for the morning.
After everyone settled in and the guys cracked open a few beers, you discussed your plans for the day. There was a small lake about ten minutes from your campsite that was a popular area to swim, so you all took turns using the bathroom to change and then gathered up snacks, drinks, towels and sunscreen before following Tommy down a trail.
"So what else is on the agenda for the weekend?" Sam asked.
"No agenda, we're just here to relax and let loose," Joel replied.
"Oh, yeah, sure, but it's not like we're just going to sit around drinking all weekend, right?"
Joel smirked. "Don't know. Sounds pretty relaxin' to me."
Sam laughed politely but you could tell he had expected an activity or two. He was the type of guy who thrived in routine and structure, so a trip without concrete plans was a little out of his comfort zone. You looped your arm through his and gave him a smile.
"We brought lawn games and there's some really great hiking trails."
"I'm takin' Maria on one tomorrow," Tommy said over his shoulder. "Supposed to be an incredible view."
"Oh, that sounds fun. Doesn't that sound fun?" Sam asked you, and you nodded. "Why don't we join you?"
"No!" Tommy said loudly, sending the group into an uneasy silence. He chuckled nervously and tried to recover. "I just mean we're goin' early, you probably wanna get some rest."
"I think they need some time alone," you whispered to Sam when it looked like he wasn't getting the hint. Then it finally clicked and he nodded.
"Yeah, good call. We'll go later in the afternoon, you can tell us if it's worth the hike," Sam said, papering over the awkwardness. Maria shot a confused look over her shoulder at you and you shrugged.
Once you got to the small, sandy beach that overlooked the lake, you told Sam you wanted to ask Joel about Tommy and headed over to where he was setting up his towel.
"Hey."
Joel looked up in surprise and his eyes instinctively flicked over your shoulder at Sam. "Hey."
"What's up with Tommy? Is he cheating on Maria?"
Joel's eyes widened in shock. "What? No, what the hell?"
"Well, she thinks he is. He's been acting super weird lately, don't tell me you haven't noticed," you said, your gaze drifting towards the shore where he and Maria were hesitantly walking into the water.
Joel just chuckled and lifted his shirt over his head and suddenly your mouth went dry. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at you, clocking your reaction. "Careful."
You cleared your throat and focused your attention on his face once again. "How are you so sure?"
"'Cause he ain't, trust me." Joel leaned over to pick up his sunscreen and began to rub the lotion into his arms. When you didn't move from your spot he tilted his head and gave you a knowing look. "You just gonna stand there or you wanna help me?"
"Uh," you looked over your shoulder at Sam who was struggling to set up a beach umbrella in the sand.
"I'm just teasin', sweetheart," Joel said as he continued to apply the lotion himself. "Don't worry 'bout Tommy. He would never cheat on Maria, he ain't like that."
You swiveled your head back around, the hurt evident on your face. He realized what he said a moment too late and his expression softened. "That's not - I mean, what I meant was -"
"It's fine," you replied quickly, then forced a fake smile that made his chest ache as you began to back away. "I should go help him," you told Joel, jutting your thumb over your shoulder before casting your eyes to the ground and turning away from him. He called your name but you just waved him off and kept walking.
"sh*t," Joel muttered under his breath. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt your feelings or make you question what the two of you were doing. The thought of losing you plagued him every single day and he just inadvertently pushed you in the wrong direction by implying Tommy was too noble, too good to step out on his girlfriend. He watched out of the corner of his eye while you and Sam opened a couple cans of beer under the shade of the umbrella and began to apply sunscreen of your own. His breath caught in his throat and he had to look away when you took off your swimsuit cover up but he still heard Sam wolf whistle as he admired your body and it made that ugly, jealous side of him rear its head once again.
Joel tossed his sunglasses off and headed towards the water, unable to sit that close to the two of you any longer. He grinned and headed in his brother's direction when he spotted Tommy near the trunk of an old willow tree, testing the sturdiness of a tire swing while Maria watched from the water down below.
"The girls are catchin' on," he said quietly and Tommy looked at him in alarm.
"Did you say somethin'?"
"'Course not. They think you're cheatin', though," Joel replied with a chuckle. Tommy's face broke out with a relieved smile.
"Well they'll figure it out soon 'nough."
They heard splashing and both turned their heads to see you and Sam enter the water. Joel heard an adorable, surprised squeak when the cold water first touched your skin and he smiled.
"How're you holdin' up?" Tommy asked after catching the way Joel looked at you.
"Fine. What'dya mean?"
"You know what I mean."
Joel scoffed and turned his attention back to the tire swing.
"Thought you woulda invited Sadie or somethin'."
Joel sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Not really a spark there."
Tommy nodded, about to let the topic rest but then quickly turned around, sounding exasperated when he said, "you gotta tell her, man, before she makes a mistake and moves in with this guy."
"Nothin' to tell," Joel immediately replied.
"Don't bullsh*t me."
"I ain't."
Tommy rolled his eyes and tugged on the rope. "Fine. It's your life."
Joel never told a soul about what the two of you had been doing, including his own brother. He could only imagine how Tommy would react if he knew, especially considering how often he pressured him to confront his feelings. He thought he would be able to tough it out and wait for you to come around, but he couldn't deny the emptiness he felt when he watched how loving and sweet Tommy and Maria were together. More than once he let himself fantasize what it would be like if you were truly his, publicly, and not just behind closed doors. He wanted to rest his arm around your shoulders and tug you close while you all watched TV or went out to dinner. He wanted to go on double dates and take pictures with you standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He wanted to take vacations with you and bring you to his mom's house for Sunday dinner.
He wanted all of you and he finally decided he would do whatever it took to make his dream a reality. He didn't mention it to you or Tommy but earlier in the week he sat down with his agent and accountant and put in motion a plan to retire from the adult film industry. He had one contract left he had to see through but after another month, he would be done for good, and he couldn't wait to see the look on your face when he finally told you the news.
He just prayed you wanted him as much as he wanted you.
"Once you get used to the water, it's actually pretty nice," you told Sam as you waded in the deeper end of the lake. You, Sam and Maria had swam away from the danger zone: that being the area where Joel and Tommy were swinging from the tire and diving into the water.
"This place is beautiful, we really lucked out no one else found this little beach," Sam said. You and Maria nodded in agreement. You all heard a loud yell coming from the little cliff and turned to watch Joel cannonball into the water, the splash from the impact somehow reaching all the way over where the three of you were swimming.
"Jesus Christ, Joel!" Maria laughed when his head popped up out of the water. His curls were soaked and plastered against his forehead when he turned around and grinned. Then Tommy was calling Sam's name and waving him over while he reeled in the tire swing. Sam looked at you and you shrugged.
"Go for it."
He smiled and began to make his way to shore, passing by Joel who was struggling to lay flat so he could float on top of the water with his eyes closed.
"So are you and Tommy really going on that hike early in the morning or was that his way of trying to make Sam drop it?" you asked Maria and she rolled her eyes.
"No, he actually wants to go at sunrise." You made a disgusted face and she giggled. "That's what I thought, too. We're gonna have to wake up so damn early but he is insisting that the view is spectacular and it'll be worth it."
"Better you than me," you muttered, then she splashed water in your face in response. You gasped and smacked the water, drenching her with a wave of your own and before you both knew it, you were in an all out splash war.
"Hey! Break it up!" Joel shouted, swimming over. He wrapped his arms around your waist under the water and yanked you back but you just used him for leverage and kicked your feet, practically creating a waterfall over Maria.
"Not fair!" she giggled, trying to shield herself from the onslaught. Joel tugged on your waist again, his breathy laugh at your antics getting trapped against your hair, and spun you around so you were no longer facing Maria or the cliff where Tommy was showing Sam how to use the tire swing.
"I gotta go pee," Maria said as she began to swim back to shore.
"Is that a forfeit?" you called after her with a grin. She briefly turned around in the water and held up two middle fingers in your direction, making you laugh. It wasn't until you were alone when you realized Joel's arms were still wrapped around your midsection. Your gaze flickered up to the cliff where Sam was busy testing the rope on the swing, then dipped your hands below the water to pull his arms off of you but he just gripped you tighter against his chest.
"Joel," you said warningly.
"Hm?"
"Not here."
"C'mon, no one can see," he assured you, sliding his hand lower and swiping a finger over your bathing suit, right over your slit. You gasped and swallowed thickly, inadvertently pressing your back against his chest at the contact and that's when you felt it: his erection dug into your lower back and you could have sworn he shifted his hips back and forth a little, rubbing himself against you under the water with a quiet groan.
"I bet it'd be so f*ckin' easy for me to slide into this soft puss* right now," he whispered. Your eyebrows pinched together when he rubbed his finger over the outside of your bikini bottoms again, expertly locating your cl*t as if by muscle memory. "Bet she's just drippin' for me, ain't that right?"
"f*ck," you whispered, blinking rapidly and trying to stay focused. Maria had disappeared into the woods but all Tommy and Sam had to do was turn their heads and they would see the two of you in what could only be described as a compromising position.
Then to your horror, Sam looked in your direction at the exact same time your eyes snapped up to him on the edge of the cliff.
"f*ck," you said again, but this time your voice was laced with panic. You tried to casually swim out of Joel's hold but you saw the confused look on Sam's face. Joel cleared his throat nervously and brushed the wet hair out of his eyes as you swam closer to the cliff with a smile that you hoped was convincing.
"Let's see what you got!" you shouted up to him. Tommy turned now, oblivious to what just happened, and held the tire close to the edge. Sam's gaze drifted back and forth between you and Joel once before giving you a tight smile and stepping into the tire. When Sam jumped into the water, you probably laid it on a little too thick when you cheered and clapped for him but your adrenaline was pumping far too fast through your veins to do anything else. How much did he see? Could you come up with some excuse as to why Joel was holding you like that? Think, think, think.
Surprisingly, Sam didn't mention it. Maybe he was just too nice or maybe he was still trying to figure out what he saw, but the rest of the afternoon at the lake went on without a hitch.
During dinner, you and Joel stayed far apart, hardly sparing the other a glance the whole night. In hindsight, it probably just added fuel to the flames. It was suspicious no matter how you looked at it.
You and Sam teamed up against Tommy and Maria to play beer pong while Joel kicked back by the fire with his eyes closed and a beer in hand. Sam wasn't much of a drinker, so as the night went on, the sloppier you all played, and his eyelids began to droop.
"We should call it a night, got an early start tomorrow," Tommy said to Maria. She exchanged a look with you and you grinned. You were tucked into Sam's side by the fire, his arm draped across your shoulders as you watched them unzip their tent and crawl inside for the night.
Sam yawned and rubbed his face. "Wanna call it?" he asked, and you nodded. You both stood up and looked over at Joel, who was tending to the fire. "'Night, man," Sam said. For the first time that night, Joel acknowledged the two of you.
"'Night."
Sam headed for your tent and you looked over your shoulder once more at Joel, his eyes still glued to your retreating form. You gave him a small smile and ducked into the tent, zipping it shut behind you.
Sam fell asleep within twenty minutes, but you were lying in your sleeping bag next to him wide awake and staring at the green canvas above your head. You were still shaken up by the incident at the lake and you couldn't calm your mind down enough to grow tired. At some point during the evening, you managed to somewhat casually mention to Sam your bikini top came loose in the water and Joel was kind enough to tie it for you, hoping he would put two and two together and assume that's why Joel was so close to you. At the time, it seemed like he bought the story, or at least he didn't question it further. But now that you were alone with your thoughts, you weren't so sure.
Through the fabric of the tent you noticed the orange from the flames in the fire pit suddenly go out, then heard the sound of a few broken sticks and a zipper opening and closing, alerting you Joel had gone to bed.
You lasted all of ten minutes, silently wrestling with your thoughts before quietly easing yourself out of your sleeping bag. You watched Sam's face closely while you unzipped the tent, looking for any sign he was waking up, but his breathing remained deep and slow, accentuated by a soft snore.
Like you had promised yourself, you spent the last week figuring out what you were going to do about Joel and Sam, and while logic told you Sam was the best choice, your heart said otherwise. You simply couldn't deny it any longer. Which is why when you snuck into Joel's tent that night, you didn't carry with you the usual guilt that settled in the back of your mind. It may have been a bit hypocritical to feel guilt about Sam spotting Joel's arms around you in the lake, but he didn't deserve to find out that way. You would come clean and tell him the truth in private.
Finally coming to a decision made you feel free: once you got back home, you were going to break up with Sam. He was sweet and loving and smart and kind and he deserved someone who loved him fiercely, but you just couldn't convince yourself you were that person anymore.
It didn't mean you were ready to jump into anything serious with Joel. That was something that required a lot more thought on your end, but you decided to take one step at a time. Joel's job was still an obstacle, one you were trying very hard to come to terms with.
But that particular evening, you just really needed to sleep. Luckily, Joel was more than willing to help tire you out.
"f*ck, that's it," he whispered as he slid inside you. His big hands gripped your waist, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh of your lower back, holding you still until your ass was flush with his hips. "Goddamn, baby, wish you could see how you stretch f'me."
You could hardly get out a single syllable from the way he had you twisted around on your hands and knees in his tent, co*ck buried so deep you wondered how it was possible to feel so full. Tipping your head back, you sighed as your walls slowly began to relax around his now familiar girth.
"sh*t, Joel," you gasped when he began to roll his hips, "you feel so good like this, oh my god."
He wasn't sure if it was the angle or the lack of a condom you were referring to, but it didn't matter. His co*ck throbbed inside you from the praise and a lazy smirk spread across his face as he watched your ass jiggle against him with every thrust. You began to whine when he picked up the pace, a pretty sound that made the hardwiring in his male brain send out insane urges to every cell in his body to f*ck you senseless and make you his.
So that's what he did.
He snapped his hips harder, faster, convincing himself the harsh slap of skin against skin wasn't as loud as he thought it was because your sweet little whines turned to whimpers from his punishing pace and he couldn't stop. Just when he was about to check in and make sure you were okay, you arched your back and pushed back on him, requesting more, and who was he to deny you?
"Oh, f*ck, f*ckf*ckf*ck," he chanted under his breath, the force of his thrusts knocking you off balance. You fell onto your elbows but managed to keep your ass in the air for him. "Good girl," he whispered, giving one more glance to your puss*, admiring the way you took him before sliding his palm down the length of your spine and leaning forward. He pressed a gentle kiss against your shoulder then pushed both fists into the canvas on either side of your head, crouching over your collapsing body. He must have looked like a madman, hunched over and f*cking you from behind like an animal, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. You felt too good and you always said all the right things that made him temporarily lose his mind whenever he had you.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Joel!" you cried out louder than you intended and instantly slapped your hand over your mouth. You felt his exhale on the back of your neck, the heat from his skin searing against yours and you felt yourself barreling towards your org*sm. When you tightened around him, he was quickly brought back to his senses.
"Wait," he whispered, pulling out of you harshly and earning another precious whine from you. He frantically tapped the side of your thigh and you weakly turned around. "Lay on your back, wanna watch you come."
You less than gracefully flipped onto your back and spread your trembling legs. He gripped one thigh to steady himself before swiftly entering you once again. His eyes snapped up to yours and watched that familiar satisfied look flood your beautiful features. Slowly, he slid in and out, watching in amazement as your slick pooled around the base of his co*ck, then began to go faster. He groaned when your breasts began to bounce and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Diving forward, he latched onto the side of your neck, grabbing the delicate skin there between his teeth to help keep him quiet. Your nails raked angrily down his back when he pinched your neck a little too hard, so to make up for the pain he licked and kissed at the spot, lapping up the salt from your skin.
"Joel, I need-" but you cut yourself off with another hand over your mouth, muffling the moans he yearned to hear. His hand slipped between your bodies and circled your cl*t, making you tense and gasp. "You know me so well, always know what I want," you whispered in his ear, removing your hand. "Always know how to make me feel so f*cking good."
Your words went straight between his legs and his brain went all fuzzy. He could hardly think straight from the high and he hadn't even come yet. But he felt your thighs tense around his hips and your perfect c*nt squeeze his co*ck and he had just enough sense left over to put one of his own hands over your mouth right when you gushed all around him.
"God - f*ckin' - dammit," he moaned, each word paired with a deep thrust. He pressed his mouth against the back of his hand, the same hand that was still covering your own mouth as you rode out your high, and stared directly into your eyes. "Always wanted to f*ck you like this. Wanted to feel this perfect - f*ckin' - puss* raw, wanna fill you up 'n watch my come leak out. Want you to feel me drippin' outta you all day."
You mumbled something unintelligible from behind his hand so he gently removed it. "I want it. Please, Joel, I need it." His face contorted and his stomach tightened, unable to hold back.
"I'm gonna come," he whispered, voice almost pained.
You continued to mutter filth in his ear about wanting to feel him the next day, how sore you'll be and how much you'll love it until he came with a muffled grunt, his teeth sinking into your neck again.
"Oh, sh*t," he gasped, his trembling body collapsing against you. He dragged in deep breaths, desperately trying to gather himself. "I don't think I can move, never came that hard in my life," he chuckled quietly before kissing your collarbone. You just hummed and drew lazy circles with your fingernail over his back. You laid there as long as you could, until your eyelids grew heavy and you knew if you didn't get up, you would end up falling asleep and that would not be good.
Without you even having to ask, he leaned up onto his elbows with a grunt and slowly pulled out, watching in a trance as his release seeped out of you.
"We're f*ckin' doin' that again one day."
You giggled quietly and rummaged around for your clothes, shimmying each piece on one by one. "It only happened this time because you failed to bring any condoms."
Joel gave you a disbelieving look and rolled onto his sleeping bag with a huff. "My apologies. Didn't think you would need to get f*cked so badly in the middle of the goddamn woods."
You grinned and, once you were fully dressed, crawled over to him seductively on your hands and knees to give him a tender kiss on the lips. "What can I say? Nature turns me on."
He laughed softly and watched you slowly unzip his tent, giving him a wink before hurrying back to your own tent with Sam. Although watching you leave to return to another man was hard, he had to have faith that soon enough, when he told you his news, that maybe things would change.
He just had to be patient.
The next morning you sat next to Sam in front of the fire, yawning and rubbing your eyes as you waited for the water to boil so you could make instant coffee.
"My back's killing me from sleeping on the ground. How about you?" Sam asked sleepily. You shrugged and tried to hide the flush that creeped up your neck by pulling your blanket around your shoulders tighter.
"Yeah, I'm a little sore."
You felt Joel's eyes on you from across the fire but you didn't dare meet his gaze for fear of your boyfriend seeing something on your face that he shouldn't see. You took a deep breath and turned to Sam.
"Can we get dinner some night this week when you're free?"
His eyebrows went up and he nodded. You heard the kettle begin to boil and Joel leaned forward to remove it from the flames.
"Sure, I think I'm free Tuesday night."
"Tuesday's good."
Sam could sense something was going on. "Everything okay?"
You forced a nervous smile and nodded. "Yeah. I just need to talk to you about... what you asked me." You tugged your blanket around yourself even more, as if it were a shield protecting you from what was to come.
Sam's eyes drifted to Joel, who was trying very hard to look like he wasn't listening. "You mean, about moving in together?" he asked quietly. You nodded again and just when Sam looked like he was about to ask something else, you heard twigs snapping in the woods and muffled voices. All three of you turned to see Tommy and Maria emerge from the trees with huge grins plastered across their faces.
"Wow, was the view that good?" you teased Maria, surprised by the brightness in her eyes given how reluctant she was to wake up so early for the hike.
"Yeah, we saw a huge f*cking rock," she said, pulling her hand out from behind her back and flashing you a beautiful, sparkling engagement ring.
"Oh my god!" you screamed, throwing your blanket off and jumping up to wrap your arms around her neck. Sam and Joel winced in unison at the high pitched squeals coming from you and Maria, but Tommy didn't seem to mind. In fact, he looked ecstatic watching the two of you fawn over her ring before you came to your senses and gave him a hug, as well.
"You did good!" you told him, playfully punching him in the shoulder before turning back to Maria. She began to tell you about the hike and how she nearly sprained her ankle, almost ruining the whole surprise while Sam and Joel stood to shake Tommy's hand and congratulate him. All at once, Tommy's strange behavior began to make sense and your conversation with Joel the day before replayed in your mind.
Flicking your hair over your shoulder, you swiveled around to locate him. "You knew, didn't you?" you accused him with a grin. Joel looked at you and that was when you swore time slowed down. At least, when you looked back on it, it certainly seemed that way.
His eyes landed on you, his usual smile stretched across his face until you noticed his gaze lock onto your neck. His face instantly fell and his eyes filled with panic. At first, by the way he was looking at you, you thought there was a snake or a bear over your shoulder, but somehow it was so much worse.
There wasn't even enough time for you to catch Joel's hint, his hand rubbing against an imaginary spot on his own neck, trying to silently convey the problem. Sam turned to look at you a moment later and his eyes found the same spot Joel had been staring at, previously hidden by your blanket and hair, and he frowned.
"What's that?"
"What's what?" you asked. Maria looked up from her hand and saw it next, her eyes widening.
"This," Sam said, closing the distance between you and rubbing his thumb over a sensitive spot on your neck. He checked the pad of his thumb, as if something would transfer, maybe hoping it was dirt when he knew deep down what it really was.
Images of Joel biting that spot on your throat mere hours ago flashed through your mind and you felt your chest squeeze with anxiety.
"I-I don't know, maybe a bug bite," you stammered, covering the spot self-consciously with your hand while your face began to heat up from embarrassment. By now, the whole group had stopped celebrating to focus on you and Sam.
"That's not a bug bite," Sam said, his gaze turning hard. You could practically see the gears spinning in his head. "That's a f*cking hickey."
It was impossible to breathe. Fear shot through your whole body, keeping you frozen on the spot. You laughed nervously and shook your head. "M-maybe last night, we drank a lot-"
"No, don't bullsh*t me," he spat. Your heart was thundering in your chest so fast you were sure everyone could hear it. "I wasn't that drunk, I didn't do that to you."
You swallowed, struggling to come up with something, anything else to say. Slowly, Sam turned around and looked at Joel. He was harder to read than you but Sam still picked up on the nervous twitch of his fingers and the pink flush that was beginning to stain his cheeks. Sam scoffed in disbelief and shook his head, turning his focus back on you. "I f*cking knew it."
"Sam-"
"Don't lie to me," he warned.
"I'm not- can we go somewhere to talk, please?" you pleaded.
"How could you do this?" Sam exclaimed, and it was as if reality was finally setting in. "Ten f*cking feet away? Are you serious?"
"Sam, please-"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, disgust laced his voice. Your lower lip trembled but you stood tall. "Did you even love me or was that a lie, too?"
You hesitated, just for a moment, before replying, "yes, of course I loved you," but it was too late. Sam took a deep breath and shook his head before stalking toward your tent, muttering lying bitch under his breath.
Unfortunately, Joel heard it.
"Hey!" Joel shouted angrily, and Sam swiveled around, fists clenched at his sides.
"Joel, stop," you said, voice shaking, but they both ignored you.
"What? You're gonna act like the white knight and fight for her honor? Spare me, asshole."
"I know you're pissed, but -"
"You know I'm pissed?" Sam repeated, his eyes flashing with an anger you never saw in him before. He took one menacing step closer to Joel. "You've been f*cking my girlfriend for god knows how long and all you gotta say is you know I'm pissed?" He huffed, a dry little chuckle under his breath, one corner of his mouth turning up into a sarcastic smirk, his demeanor intentionally trying to throw Joel off guard so when Sam suddenly drew his arm back and punched Joel square in the face, he never saw it coming. You gasped and tears welled up in your eyes.
Joel stumbled a bit from the impact and clenched his fist to retaliate before Tommy jumped in.
"Alright, that's enough! Both of you, go cool off," he said, standing between the two men with his arms outstretched.
Sam shook his head and caught your eye. "You deserve each other," he said coldly before turning around and leaning inside your tent to grab his duffel bag, still unzipped with clothes pouring out of it. You sunk down into one of the camping chairs, tears blurring your vision as you watched Sam storm off to his car. His tires spun loudly against the gravel as he peeled out of the campsite, leaving the four of you shrouded in a thick silence.
"Are you okay?" Maria asked softly, kneeling down next to you. She gave your knee a little reassuring squeeze and you felt even worse for ruining such a special moment for her.
"I'm sorry," you sobbed, the tears pouring down your cheeks. She quickly pulled you into a hug and rubbed your back, telling you it was okay and not to worry and asking if you needed anything.
Her kindness was more than you deserved.
Joel's voice softly said your name and you pulled away from Maria. A fresh wave of tears began to fall when you saw the bruise already blooming across his cheek with a neat little red cut in the center.
"C'mon, let's give them a minute," Tommy said to Maria, lacing their fingers together and walking a short distance away from the campsite to give you some privacy.
"I'm sorry, Joel," you whispered, fighting the urge to reach for the mark on his face. He sighed and sat down in the chair next to you.
"Nothin' to be sorry 'bout."
"Yes, there is," you sniffled, looking down at your fingers tangled in your lap. "I never should have started this... thing with you. It wasn't fair to either of you."
"I made my own decision, y'know. I knew what I was gettin' into."
"Did you, though? Did you really think it would go this far?" you asked, tilting your head a bit to look at him. "We said only one time, then it was only when we were home alone, then it was when everyone was asleep... what the hell was I thinking?" you muttered the last part softly to yourself, wiping a stray tear from the corner of your eye.
Joel leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't know, but I don't regret a minute of it."
"You don't regret ruining your brother's engagement announcement?"
Joel thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, alright, that part isn't great."
"You don't regret lying and cheating and sneaking around and being selfish?" you asked, your voice growing louder.
"No. Not with you," he said sincerely. His gaze flicked back and forth between your eyes. "Do you?"
You buried your face in your hands and shook your head. "I don't know. Maybe."
He felt his throat start to squeeze. "You don't mean that."
You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, your eyes puffy from all the tears and your head beginning to throb.
Joel took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Listen, I gotta tell you somethin'-"
"I think we need to put a pause on whatever this is," you interrupted, waving a finger back and forth between you. "I need some time to figure this out."
He swallowed nervously. "H-how long?"
"I'm not sure," you replied, "I just know I can't keep hurting the people I care about."
Even though you thought you were protecting him by pushing him away, you were too blind to see you were hurting him in that very moment.
But Joel did what you asked and gave you your space. Even though it killed him, he could tell you were in a delicate place and the last thing he wanted to do was make things worse.
Then one evening, a little over a week after the disastrous camping trip, you sat down to dinner and made an announcement that broke his heart.
"I'm going to move out."
Three sets of eyes snapped up to you in unison, the air so thick you could practically reach out and grab it.
"What? It couldn't be that much of a surprise," you said when the table remained silent.
"Why?" Joel asked, and as much as he tried to sound normal, everyone could hear the hurt in his voice.
"They're getting married, Joel. They're going to start a family one day and they'll need the space. Besides, we always said this was temporary, right? 'Til Maria passed the bar exam?"
"Yeah, but I'm not going to take that for another two months," Maria said slowly. "There's no rush. I mean, it'll take us a while to plan a wedding and we probably won't have kids right away."
"Well, even so, I was talking to my mom and turns out she broke up with that boyfriend. The one with the boat, remember? She's been mentioning she's a lot lonelier now, so..." you trailed off and shrugged, pushing peas around on your plate.
"So you're gonna move back in with your mama?" Tommy finished for you.
"Yeah," you said quietly.
"When?" Joel asked, his jaw tense. He was gripping his fork so hard it looked like it might snap.
"Uh, soon. I was going to start taking things over this weekend-" you stopped short when Joel suddenly stood up from the table, his chair loudly scraping backwards against the hardwood floor, and left the room without another word.
You pressed your lips together and stared down blankly at your plate, trying to summon your appetite but it seemed to have disappeared. Instead, all that remained was a phantom knife in your chest.
"Please don't do this," Maria pleaded. She reached a hand across the table, brushing her thumb over your knuckles.
"I'm just trying to be responsible for once," you practically whispered. Your throat felt tight with emotion and you couldn't trust yourself to speak much louder. "I've made such a mess of everything. I need a fresh start and I can't do that here. You know I can't," you said, your eyes finding hers. Maria sighed and looked at Tommy.
"You didn't make a mess," Tommy said, but you shook your head.
"Of course I did. I did a terrible thing, not only to my boyfriend but to your brother. I can't live this close to him anymore." Your voice cracked and you rubbed your eyes tiredly. "I'm grateful to you both for inviting me to live here with you, I really am. But it's my fault. It probably wasn't a good idea from the beginning."
"He's in love with you," Tommy blurted out. Your fork clanged loudly when you dropped it on your plate and you stared at him, wide eyed.
"What?" you whispered, "did he tell you that?"
Tommy's gaze shifted from you to Maria for a moment before sighing. "No, not exactly, but-" you rolled your eyes and stood up, gathering your plate. "But I know my brother. He's stubborn as a mule and he won't tell me, but I know. I've known for a long time now."
"Okay, Tommy," was all you said when you scraped your food into the trash and rinsed your plate in the sink. "Wouldn't matter anyway. You know that."
"What, his job? Didn't seem to bother you all these months," he countered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We were just fooling around. What you're talking about is completely different."
"You sure that's all it was? Foolin' around?"
You swallowed and nervously tapped your fingers against the counter. "Yes," you lied, but you could tell Tommy saw right through you.
He sighed and scratched his jaw. "Listen. You're an adult, do what you want. If you think movin' out is gonna stop whatever is goin' on between you two, then go right ahead. But there will be a day when you realize you wasted all this time dancin' around the one goddamn thing that makes you both happy, and when that day comes, you're gonna hand me one hundred dollars and say, you were right, Tommy."
You couldn't help but chuckle softly at that.
"Sure," you said, "whatever you say."
"And you better not try to weasel outta any wedding stuff," he warned you with a lopsided grin. "All the parties, rehearsal, the dress thing-"
"And you're going to help me plan it. I will need your opinion from napkin color to what style veil," Maria said, playfully narrowing her eyes.
"Yes, ma'am."
"But above all else, the two of you are gonna get over yourselves and get your asses up there and stand next to us under that altar," Tommy warned.
"I know, I promise. I won't ruin a single thing, your day will be perfect."
Tommy nodded and leaned back in his chair.
"We can use my truck to move your stuff."
You smiled. "Thank you."
For the rest of the time you lived in the house, you rarely saw Joel. He found reasons to skip dinner until he simply just stopped coming downstairs. He avoided you like the plague, practically timing his bathroom breaks so he wouldn't run into you in the hall.
And on the day you moved out, his truck was gone before you even woke up.
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