Void - Part 3 (M)
title banner by @jiminiethot♡
Genre: Sci-fi with a little angst and a LOT of smut
Pairing: BTS x Reader (yup - all seven)
Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.
Word Count: 13.1k
Part 3 / ?
Part 1Part 2
Warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex, slight degradation, gratuitous space science
______________________________________________________
“Let’s give it to Jimin.” The idea hangs in the air of the workshop, which is becoming colder as the steaminess of your previous activities ebbs. You shiver as you sit naked on Yoongi’s workbench, waiting for him to finish gathering up your clothes.
Yoongi nods and bites his lip. “I’m sure he’ll enjoy it.”
“Is that okay?” you ask as you climb down. Yoongi was in the video too, though only his voice.
“Yeah…” He shrugs as he hands you the pile of clothes he gathered from the floor. “I suppose that was the point.”
“Yeah.” You turn away from him as you put your clothes back on. The back of the camera clicks open as you finish zipping up your jumpsuit.
When you turn back around, he’s holding out the memory card to you.
“Thanks.” You pick up the little slip of plastic that holds all of your evening’s illicit activities and tuck it into your breast pocket. A little thrill runs through you as you imagine what Jimin will think of it. “I should get the camera back to storage before the gravity shuts down.” You hold out your hand for the camera.
“I can return it if you want,” Yoongi offers. “I’ll just clean up a bit in here and then put the camera away.”
It would be nice to head back to your pod and get some sleep. “Thanks,” you reply, covering your mouth as you yawn.
He nods, setting down the camera and folding up the cloth he had used to cover the bench.
“I guess I’ll head back to my pod then.” You don’t have any other excuse to stay here. You are shuffling toward the exit when Yoongi calls your name. You pause, hand on the door handle.
“I disabled the door. Hang on.” He sets down the cloth and joins you at the door, fishing into the wall for the wires he disconnected.
There is an awkward silence as you wait for him to connect the correct wires. The mechanical whirring of the the air circulator gets louder in preparation for the shift to zero-g.
“So, uh,” Yoongi says as he tugs some wires out of the hole where the control panel should go. “What happens now?”
“What do you mean ‘what happens now?’” You rock up and down on the balls of your feet. “I’m going to give the tape to Jimin.”
“No, I meant with us.” He coughs into his fist, avoiding eye contact.
“Us?” The word hangs in the air, full of implication. It catches you off guard. Yoongi’s been so nonchalant about everything up until this point, it never occured to you that he would want an “us”.
“sh*t,” Yoongi mutters. “Don’t make it sound like that.”
“Sound like what?”
“Like I’m asking you to go steady or something.” He laughs awkwardly. “It’s just…” he pauses, tugging on his ear. “It was fun. It’d be a shame if it never happened again.”
You frown at the still closed door, willing it to open. It can’t happen again. What excuse would you have for it to happen again? You need to escape long enough to come up with a better response.
Yoongi looks down at the floor and fidgets with his hair. “Or something,” he mutters.
“Yoongi,” you sigh. A frown flits over his face then disappears. “I don’t think it can happen again.”
“f*ck,” he sighs. “Ten years.” His eyes are full of disappointment when he meets your gaze. “Ten f*cking years.”
God, you are such a selfish idiot. Your crew members must be experiencing the same blind desperation. You’ve been viewing your colleagues as tortuous temptations rather than people with their own needs. But they must feel the same aching loneliness as you.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, but it’s not enough. You used him. You used him for your own selfish purposes, with no plan for what would happen next.
The door opens as Yoongi reconnects the correct wires. You give him a sad half-smile of apology before you flee into the hallway, desperate to get back to the safety of your solitary sleep pod.
Your regret builds as you get farther from the workshop. Regret for engaging in this flirtation with your flight engineer, regret for involving him in your problems with Jimin, regret for holding out the idea of sex to him with no plan for what would happen next, regret for not kissing him when you had the chance.
Your gut-twisting remorse is such a rapid shift of emotions from the org*smic high you felt minutes ago. Tears well in your eyes, but you manage to breathe through the urge to cry. It’s a dumb overreaction. You curse yourself for being so hormonal as you search for your personal headphones. You find them in the bottom of your sleeping bag and cue up your Sounds of Earth.
The rainstorm in your headphones is a fitting background for your turbulent mood as you fight to get a grip. Your chest aches and the knot in your throat is making it hard to breathe. You’re not thinking rationally, adrenaline and hormones clouding your judgement.
You wish you could go outside. Just for a walk. Just to see something you haven’t seen before. Just to feel the breeze on your face and hear the sounds of the outdoors.
But there is no breeze in the void of space. The only sound you can hear is your own blood boiling in your ears.
You take a deep breath, just as you did in crisis training scenarios on Earth. The air is suffocating. There were no new air molecules, only those you had brought from Earth. You count a full one, two, three, four seconds of inhale.You try to ignore the fact that you have breathed these same air molecules a thousand times before. You count a full one, two, three, four seconds of exhale, and feel your heart rate decrease, easing the tension in your chest. Crying is not going to help you right now.
Work the problem.
You are tired and emotional. The hormones from your encounter with Yoongi are inhibiting your ability to think clearly. You need sleep and you need time. The best thing you can do right now is to go to bed. The problem can be solved in the morning. You keep counting your breaths in and out in four second increments until you fall asleep.
_____
You wake up the next morning as the artificial gravity turns back on. As the weight returns to your feet, the weight of your actions last night returns as well.
Your eyes are puffy and tender, but everything feels easier to deal with after some sleep. You turn to the ICSE problem-solving protocol, drilled into you with years of training.
Step One: Define the problem.
You have several problems: Yoongi’s desire for a repeat of last night’s performance, Jimin’s continued awkwardness toward you, and the question of what to do with your newly minted p*rnographic video. Protocol says to take one at a time. Yoongi seems like the most pressing issue.
Step Two: Determine objectives.
This one is easy. Your objective is always the mission. Make it to Europa and back in one piece with the whole crew intact and all research tasks complete. Anything that distracts from that is a problem.
Step Three: Generate an array of alternative solutions.
Option One - you repeat what happened last night. Option Two - you start f*cking Yoongi. Option Three - you make it clear it was a one-time event and revert to the way things have always been.
Step Four: Evaluate the possible consequences of each.
If you repeat what happened last night, there’s no way you could stop yourself from f*cking him. You barely made it through last night. If it was an ongoing occurrence, it would be pointless to resist. Option one is the same as option two then. So what if you gave in to what you both want and f*cked him?
God, you wanted it so badly. The look in his eyes as he watched you and stroked himself still makes your core clenche. If you did f*ck him, that wouldn’t be a one time thing either. If you let yourself have it once, you would want it all the time. You’d end up begging to do it again and again.
But what then? Would you be dating? Space f*ck buddies? You can’t ever get away from each other. There’s no casual dating scenario here. You live together and work together already. If you were f*cking too, you’d basically be married. But you weren’t in love with Yoongi. You just wanted to f*ck him.
So if you did start sleeping with him, either you continue for the next ten years or you break up. Both scenarios involve heavy emotional commitments that would surely distract from the mission.
Plus there are the feelings of the rest of the crew to consider. Even if they didn’t want you sexually, certainly they would be upset with you and Yoongi parading your sex-having ways in front of them. Years of loneliness make people behave in strange ways.
Option three - you end it before it begins. You and Yoongi are sad and disappointed for a while, but you get past it. You can continue the mission without the emotional complications of being involved with him.
Step Five: Choose a course of action
Clearly option three was the best for the mission, even if temporarily disappointing. You’re going to have to draw the line here. It’s the last place you can.
Step Six: Plan the implementation
You fish the memory card out of your breast pocket. What were you going to do with this?
You run through your protocol again briefly. Options? You give it to Jimin, you keep it for yourself, or you delete it. Possible consequences? Perhaps Jimin would consider it as the friendly bridge-building gesture you meant it to be, but given how Yoongi responded, it seemed much more likely Jimin would either be jealous of Yoongi, assume you and Yoongi are already f*cking, or assume you’re extending a sexual offer to him. And the consequences of f*cking Jimin were essentially the same as f*cking Yoongi. You weren’t in love with Jimin either. You’ll further carve out a void you can’t fill.
Could you keep the video? A secret aid to help you make it through the long lonely nights? That was a bad idea. Yoongi would be much harder to resist if you were listening to him command you to org*sm every night. What if someone found it? You admitted to wanting to f*ck the whole crew in that video. It would create a problem with any crew member who stumbled upon it. Worst case scenario, it somehow made it back the ICSE and they decided you were such a liability to the mission you spent the next ten years confined to quarters.
You shudder at that idea. There was only one solution. You had to delete it.
You pull your laptop from its dock in the wall and insert the memory card. The file is easy to find, its lewd thumbnail standing out starkly amongst the mostly black pictures of the sky from the observation deck. You open it up, ostensibly to check that it is the file you’re looking for.
True to his word, Yoongi has not filmed your face. But that doesn’t make it any less obvious that it’s you. It’s not like there were lots of other female astronauts making p*rn in the Kevlar-lined workshops of their spaceships.
Video-you is sitting on the workbench. Your face burns with embarrassment as you examine her, naked butt perched gingerly next to the power tools. Off camera, you hear Yoongi’s voice commanding you to spread your legs.
She is reluctant and you can’t blame her. Nothing about this seems sexy. You don’t like the way your stomach looks with you seated on the workbench. But then you hear Yoongi’s gruff voice describing your vagin* as the sexiest thing in the whole universe and you feel a pulse of arousal.
You watch with a confusing mix of arousal and horror as video-you follows each of Yoongi’s commands. While she hides comfortably behind her blindfold, you have to watch her whole lewd display, face burning with shame at how eagerly she obeys him. The camera comes closer as Yoongi gets bolder, zooming in on you. Video-you declares that she’s a slu*t and you can’t bear to watch anymore.
Step Seven: Implement with full commitment
You click and drag the video file to the trash, removing it from the flash drive. Your mouse hovers over the “empty trash” button as the final step.
If you did delete it, how would you make things right with Jimin? A large part of Jimin’s awkwardness must be embarrassment over you still having his video. You would be just as awkward if you knew Jimin has seen this video. You have to return his video to him and apologize.
You click before you lose your nerve and feel a wave of sadness wash over you as the file disappears. The closest thing to real sex in two years, probably the closest thing for next ten years, and it’s gone.
You breathe a long slow exhale, then gather the memory card and Jimin’s flash drive. The empty memory card needs to return to storage and the flash drive needs to return to Jimin. You unzip your sleeping bag and climb out, heading out to find Jimin.
Step Eight: Adapt as needed based on incoming data.
_____
You make your way to the kitchen, clasping the flash drive in your sweaty palm. Voices of several men carry into the hallway. Most of the crew must be awake by now. You square your shoulders and walk into the kitchen as if it’s just another day.
Jimin is leaning against the far counter with a mug of coffee, immersed in conversation with Taehyung next to him. Yoongi is at the kitchen table with his own coffee, a bag of rehydrated stew, and some instant rice. His eyes flick up to meet yours as you walk past him. Your heart races as you give him a small smile. But his attention goes right back to his breakfast, barely acknowledging your presence. It’s a typical response from Yoongi this early in the morning, but today it makes the knife in your gut twist a little more.
“Good morning Officer!” Taehyung greets you.
“Good morning!” you return brightly, slightly exaggerated for the benefit of the taciturn man at the table.
“How are you this fine morning?” Taehyung asks, stepping to the side to allow you access to the coffee pot.
“I’m fabulous.” You grin widely, still watching Yoongi and hoping for some reaction to your presence. The less he gives you, the more you want to push him. “Good morning Specialist Park!” you address Jimin.
Jimin eyes widen in surprise at your first direct address of him in days. “Good morning Officer,” he replies.
“You seem to be in a good mood today,” Taehyung observes. “You’re not usually this perky before your coffee.”
“I’m in a great mood,” you lie. Yoongi’s eyes finally leave the table to look up at you. You feel a little swell of pleasure that you’ve caught his attention. But then he sees you watching him and immediately turns back to his stew, his expression flat and unchanging. It’s a frustrating lack of reaction from the man who less than twelve hours ago declared you the sexiest woman in the universe and came all over your thigh. “Good morning Engineer Min!” you chirp in your perkiest voice as you pour a cup of coffee.
Yoongi grunts in response without bothering to look at you. Was he angry with you? Sad? Upset? Or did he really not care? There was no way to know if he wouldn’t even meet your gaze. You do have another purpose for being here though, one that may catch his attention.
“Jimin,” you say as you stir the sugar into your coffee, “I was hoping I could talk to you alone for a moment.” Yoongi does look up at that. He must not be as indifferent as he is pretending to be. A frown flicks over his face and it gives you a perverse feeling of pride that you’ve managed to crack his facade. He must think you’re going to give Jimin the video. You’ll correct that later, but at the moment, you’ll let him think that if it gets him to look at you.
“Now?” Jimin asks, eyes flicking between you and Yoongi.
“Whenever is convenient.” You attempt to appear nonchalant as you add the powdered milk to your mug.
Jimin coughs and nods. "Okay, yeah, just give me a minute." He moves to resume his conversation with Taehyung, but Taehyung holds up a hand.
"You can have him whenever you want, Officer." Taehyung smiles. If only Taehyung knew how suggestive that sounds. Maybe he does.
Jimin's eyes widen, but he shakes it off quickly. "Want to talk in my office?"
“Sounds great,” you reply. Your eyes don’t leave Yoongi as you follow Jimin out of the kitchen, but he doesn’t look at you again.
You and Jimin walk in silence. You’d been so focused on Yoongi that you’d forgotten just how awkward this conversation was going to be until you were alone with him.
The tension is palpable. The last time you spoke alone with Jimin was when you had told him you couldn’t look with him without picturing his dick. Is he replaying that conversation in his mind too?
Jimin's "office" is not an office. What had begun as Jimin’s sarcastic name for the hangar was now the only way you all referred to it. The hangar stored the equipment that Jimin was in charge of, namely the ice drill, loader arm, and magnetic trap for catching meteoroids. It is so crowded that there was only room for one chair, tucked in behind the controls to the magnetic trap. Jimin pulls it out and offers it to you, but you shake your head, too nervous to sit down. You lean against the side of the tarp-covered ice drill instead as Jimin takes the seat.
"What can I do for you, Officer?" Jimin asks, arms crossed.
“I think I owe you an apology,” you say.
Jimin’s expression softens and he uncrosses his arms. “For what?”
“I never should have asked you for p*rn. It was unprofessional."
Jimin snorts and you’re relieved to see him crack a smile. “Probably, but you were the only member of this crew who hadn't."
"Yeah, well,” you shift uncomfortably on the bulky machinery. “I suspect I'm the only crew member you shared that particular video with." Jimin’s eyes widen and he squirms uncomfortably in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck. You feel bad that he still seems so embarrassed. You fish the flash drive out of your pocket. "I wanted to give it back to you."
Jimin grabs the drive and stuffs it into his pocket. "I'm sorry," he says. "I should have realized how creepy that was. I just thought it was what you were looking for,” he says, looking at the floor.
You sigh, unable to let him feel guilty any longer. "It was exactly what I was looking for, Jimin.”
“What?” He looks up at you, confused. “I thought you didn’t like it.”
You laugh at how surprised he seems. “I liked it a lot.”
He fishes the flashdrive back out of his pocket and looks at it in confusion. “Then why are you giving it back to me?”
“I don’t know.” You feel less sure of your plan than you did a few minutes ago. “It seemed like you were embarrassed about it.”
“Of course, I was!” Jimin laughs, relieved expression on his face. “On Earth, I was never a guy who sent unsolicited dick pics.”
Jimin’s dick flashes through your mind again, followed by Yoongi’s. “I think all of us have done things our Earth-selves would be embarrassed about. ” You can’t help looking down at his lap spread invitingly for you as he reclines in the chair.
Jimin grins and stands up.. “You liked it a lot?” he asks, small smirk curling his lips.
You nod, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment. He holds out the flashdrive to you as he moves closer.
“Then you should keep it.” He leans in closer. There isn’t much standing room in here and your heart races as he encroaches on your personal space.
You attempt to back away from him, but are stopped by the huge ice drill at your back. "I don't think that's a good idea."
His lower lip juts out slightly. “Why?”
“Well, we can’t…” you pause, still unsure if Jimin even wanted you in that way. Jimin’s eyes are so focused on you, it’s making it hard to breathe. “Seems like a bad idea to be getting off to a video of someone I can’t have.”
A glint of danger flashes in Jimin’s eyes as he steps even closer. “You could have me if you wanted me.”
Your palms begin sweating as your whole body burns hot. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you say, though it’s a lot harder to remember why.
“Probably isn’t.” Jimin nods in agreement, but his eyes scan you up and down as he licks his lips. He moves further into your personal space as his gaze locks on your lips. If you don’t do something right now, he’s going to kiss you.
“Specialist Park.” Your tone is surprisingly firm given how quickly your heart is beating. Your use of his title gets him to focus back on you. His determination vanishes and he takes a step back. “It’s not good for the mission,” you emphasize.
He sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, okay,” he concedes, bottom lip jutting out slightly in a disappointed pout. “But please keep the video.” He gently picks up your hand from where it dangles at your side and places the flash drive into it.
“You still want me to keep it? Even if we never…” you trail off, hoping he understands.
“Even if we never.” He closes your hand around the flashdrive and gives it a small squeeze.
“That’s suspiciously generous of you.” You look down at where your hands are still joined, neither of you wanting to let go. “Are you sure you won’t expect me to reciprocate?” If only you hadn’t been so hasty to delete your video.
"Look," Jimin says. "I get why it’s a bad idea for any of us to get involved with each other, no matter how much we might want to.” He squeezes your hand for extra emphasis on the last statement. “But it’s been so long.” He sighs and you feel every bit of his longing. It’s the same longing inside you.
You squeeze his hand back, trying to let him know you understand. He gives you a soft smile, the predatory look gone from his eyes, leaving only sweetness.
"Knowing a beautiful woman was getting off with my assistance, even if indirectly, would be amazing. Wouldn’t need the p*rn for a while..."
"Beautiful?" You brain sticks on the word. It’s been a very long time since anyone called you beautiful. You feel an even greater pang of regret for deleting the video earlier.
"Beautiful,” he murmurs, running a finger across the back of your palm, leaving a trail of tingling behind it. "Keep it. Please.”
You couldn’t possibly refuse him right now. You nod, afraid your voice will be too high pitched if you try to speak.
He smiles, bringing your hand up to his lips. "Hope you enjoy it, beautiful." He places a single light kiss on the back of your hand and your insides explode into a thousand butterflies. It takes every ounce of grit you have to not devolve into a giggling school girl right there and leap into his arms.
He lets go of your hand. You cough as you try to get your voice back. “Thank you Specialist,” you manage to grunt before turning and fleeing into the hallway.
sh*t. You did not implement with full commitment.
_____
Later that afternoon, your commander calls a meeting of the whole crew. The kitchen is already buzzing with excitement when you get there. There is finally something new to discuss.
Commander Namjoon stands at the front of the table, watching everyone file in. He never sits down during meetings. As soon as everyone is assembled around the table, he begins. “We need to discuss the meteoroid that is approaching.” He turns to address his second-in-command, “How long until we’re in visual range?”
Jin checks his tablet. “22 hours and 18 minutes.”
Namjoon smiles and claps his hands, shaking off imaginary dirt so he can get down to business. Your commander is always in his element when there is a new plan to make or problem to solve.
“We’ll need all crew on duty,” he says, beginning to pace back and forth across the kitchen. “Jin, Jungkook and myself will be on the bridge. Everyone else in the hangar. Jimin will operate the magnetic trap.”
Jimin smiles and nods as he turns to Jin. “How big is it?”
“10 to 15 meters based on radar.” Jin answers.
An audible intake of breath rushes around the table as everyone leans in closer. This is a much bigger prize than the last meteoroid.
“sh*t.” Jimin lets out a low whistle. “That’s huge. It might not be able to fit.”
“That’s what she said,” Jin replies, looking around the table for laughs, but getting only groans and eyerolls.
“Can we carry that kind of additional weight?” Yoongi asks, ignoring Jin.
“We wouldn’t be able to keep it,” Namjoon answers. “But we could run tests and take samples before releasing it.”
Hoseok leans forward, licking his lips in excitement. “When will we know for sure if it will fit?” he asks.
Jin smirks, repressing the urge to make another joke. “Our estimates should get more accurate as we get closer. But we won’t know for sure until it’s within visual range.”
“What’s the speed of approach?” Jimin asks, brow wrinkling in anticipation of the task before him.
“3000 kilometers per hour.”
“Damn,” Jimin mutters, frowning.
“That’s no big deal,” Taehyung reassures, patting Jimin’s back. “Just like catching a baseball for our talented mission specialist.”
“If the baseball was the size of a car and traveling at three times the speed of sound,” Hoseok says and Jimin frowns.
“It’ll be fine,” you reach out and pat Jimin gently on the arm. He smiles and straightens up, pulling his shoulders back.
“We could burn some fuel to slow down,” Jin suggests, looking to Namjoon.
The commander nods, hand on his chin. “We’d burn more speeding back up again though. I’ll check with ICSE to see if they think it’s worth it.”
“It has to be worth it, right?” Hoseok asks. “I mean, this is our whole mission.”
“No,” Namjoon corrects, “our whole mission is to make it to Europa and back. Meteoroids are a secondary priority.”
You hope the ICSE gives Namjoon the authorization. Everyone could use something new to focus on. The rest of your preparations have everyone chattering excitedly for the duration of the meeting. Taehyung is very excited to finally have something eventful to film.
“Okay,” Namjoon says, as all the roles for the mission are finalized. “I think that about covers it. Any other questions or concerns?” His eyes scan the faces of his crew but no one responds. “One last thing before we adjourn. Jungkook, once we’ve landed the meteoroid, you are under strict instruction to send a message to your mother.”
“What?” Jungkook splutters indignantly as the rest of the table laughs.
“Apparently she’s been calling the ICSE for days, demanding proof you’re not dead.”
“Can’t they just tell her I’m not dead?” Your youngest crew member crosses his arms and juts out his chin.
“When is the last time you sent a message?” Taehyung asks, patting Jungkook on the back and laughing.
“I don’t know,” Jungkook rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Maybe a month ago?”
“A month?” Hoseok gasps.
“She’s being dramatic.” Jungkook mutters.
“It’s been seven weeks, Jungkook.” Namjoon corrects.
“Seven weeks!” Hoseok gasps. “No wonder she thinks you’re dead.”
“We can’t all message every week, mama’s boy.” Jungkook grumbles.
“I message twice a week,” Jimin says proudly, looking around for someone to congratulate him.
“Look, just call her, Jungkook,” Namjoon sighs. “Then we don’t have to discuss at meetings.”
Jungkook nods sullenly.
“Maybe cut your hair first though,” Jin adds. “She’ll think we’re neglecting you up here.”
“f*ck,” Jungkook mutters, running his fingers through his too long bangs that hang in front of his eyes. He has quite the shaggy mullet. It didn’t detract from him being devastatingly handsome though. “I hate cutting my hair,” he grumbles. The last time he had tried to cut his own hair he’d made the back line uneven and everyone had teased him about for weeks.
“I could help,” Taehyung suggests, wiggling his eyebrows.
“No way.” Jungkook shakes his head. “You’d carve ‘I love Kim Taehyung’ into the back of my head.”
Taehyung laughs. “Yes,” he nods. “Yes, I would do that.”
“I can help you,” you suggest.
The rest of your crew turns to you in surprise. You’d never offered to help any of them with their hair before. But a haircut doesn’t seem like such a dangerous breach of professionalism after what you did last night. If you could resist f*cking Yoongi while naked on his workbench, you could resist doing anything inappropriate with a fully clothed Jungkook.
“Really?” Jungkook smiles up at you. “That’d be great, thank you.” He has such a nice smile.
“No problem,” you reply. Several of the other men fidget with their hair. Yoongi frowns and stares at the table.
“Alright,” Commander Kim claps his hands again. “Meeting adjourned.”
_____
The next morning, you report to your assigned position in the hangar for meteoroid capture. You and four of your crew members all crowd into Jimin’s cramped “office”.
Jimin gets the chair so he can operate the controls to the magnetic trap. Yoongi climbs into one of remote operated vehicles so he can sit. There is a seat available next to him, but you don’t take it. The two of you still haven’t spoken since the night you filmed the video. Instead, you lean against the side of the ice drill where Hoseok joins you. Taehyung climbs up behind you and stands on top of the drill, camera in hand to film the proceedings.
“How long until intercept?” Jimin asks over the communication system.
“18 minutes,” Jin replies on the radio.
“Velocity?” Jimin adjusts the controls as he waits for a response.
“Meteoroid approaching at 3000 kilometers per hour at 30 degrees starboard, 18 degrees overhead.”
“Confirmed,” Jimin replies as the blinking dot representing the meteoroid appears on his screen, ticking closer. “Sending test pulse.”
Jimin brushes his hair off his forehead as he waits to gauge the meteoroid’s response. He is distractingly attractive as he bites his lower lip and adjusts the controls.
“Jin,” Jimin frowns as he reads back the data. “It’s barely responded. Are we in visual range yet?”
“Should be in about two minutes.”
“Shoot,” Jimin says, careful not to swear on camera. “I think it’s more massive than we originally thought. Sending another test pulse.”
Hoseok crosses and uncrosses his arms, fidgeting nervously next to you. Your grip tightens on the tarp beneath you.
“Commander,” Jimin says, pursing his lips. “I’m getting an initial mass reading of over 250,000 kilograms.”
Your mouth falls open and Hoseok gasps next to you. The last meteoroid was barely 100 kilograms and it still took two crew members to lift it.
“Wait for visual confirmation,” Commander Namjoon instructs. If he is either excited or concerned by the news, his tone doesn’t show it.
“Damn,” Hoseok mutters next to you, shoulders sagging in disappointment.
“They’ll be more,” you say softly, covering your mic with your hand and nudging him encouragingly with your elbow.
He looks up at you and gives you a small smile. “Statistically that’s unlikely.”
“f*ck the statistics,” you whisper, giving him a cheeky grin. Hoseok laughs as Taehyung nudges you with his foot and gives you a stern look for swearing in earshot of the camera. “Sorry,” you mouth up to him. He rolls his eyes, but isn’t really mad. You’ll have to bribe him with some extra green beans in exchange for the editing you just cost him. But Hoseok smiles at you and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze in gratitude for your attempt to cheer him up, so it’s worth it.
“In visual range,” Jin announces. There’s a long pause as you wait for him to measure the size. “Oblong, twenty-two meters in diameter, fifteen meters high, rotating on its minor axis.”
The whole room groans in response. It won’t even fit in the magnetic trap.
“Darn,” Namjoon says. “We’ll have to let it go.”
Disappointment washes over you. This was the only thing you’d been excited about in weeks that wasn’t related to banging one of your co-workers.
Hoseok nudges you, giving you a “let’s-make-the-best-of-it” smile. “Let’s hurry up to the observation deck so we can watch it go by.”
You nod, trying to look less disappointed for the sake of your colleague.
Jimin spins back and forth in his chair, brows drawn together in thought. You are about to leave with Hoseok, when Jimin snaps his fingers.
“Wait!” he says excitedly, spinning back around to the controls. “I have an idea.”
“What?” Namjoon asks over the radio as you and Hoseok rush over to Jimin.
“Just give me one second,” Jimin mutters, pulling out his tablet and rapidly typing in numbers.
“10 minutes to intercept, Commander,” Jin says. “We need to adjust course to let it pass.”
“One minute, one minute,” Jimin rushes, rolling up the sleeves of his jumpsuit as he bounces back and forth between his tablet and the controls of the trap. “Yes, yes,” he mutters to himself, pushing back his hair and nodding. “Commander,” he radios. “I can stop it.”
“Stop it?” Namjoon radios back.
“Bring it to the same velocity as our ship,” Jimin clarifies.
You clap excitedly as you realize what Jimin means. If he could bring the meteoroid to your velocity, it would hover next to your ship, in lock step with you on your journey to Europa.
Hoseok reaches the same conclusion just as you do, looking at you excitedly and grinning. “Then we could get the suits on and go collect samples!” he says, and Jimin nods proudly.
“It’s spinning though,” Namjoon asks. “How would you stabilize it?”
“Can we use the retrieval arm?” Yoongi asks.
“Yes!” Taehyung chimes in, climbing down from the top of the ice drill. “I can do it commander!”
“8 minutes to intercept,” Jin reminds everyone.
At this distance from Earth, it takes over 30 minutes for a message to get from you to the ICSE and back. There was no time to get their permission. The decision rested entirely with your commander. You wait for Namjoon’s command.
“Okay,” your commander agrees. Everyone does a silent cheer as he begins to take command of the new mission. “Jin’s at the helm, Jimin’s at the trap, Taehyung’s on the arm. Jimin, bring it in.”
“Affirmative,” Jimin answers. “Increasing magnetic force now.”
“Jungkook,” Taehyung interrupts. “I need you to come take over the filming.”
“On my way,” the payload specialist radios back.
“Meteoroid decelerating,” Jin reports. “2600 kilometers per hour… 2500… 2400…”
Jimin licks his lips in concentration as he enters more data into his tablet and makes adjustments in response to the new calculations. You watch him with rapt attention, your inner nerd singing with delight at the ease with which he adjusts his data. Watching him solve complicated projectile problems turns you on almost as much as his dick had.
Jungkook arrives and Taehyung hands off the camera before racing over to the wall controls for the large retrieval arm designed to load and unload the hanger bay.
“sh*t,” Jungkook swears from behind the camera. “Taehyung, you’re almost out of memory.”
“sh*t, really?”
“Yes!” Jungkook frantically checks his pockets for memory cards. “Do you have any more?”
“No!” Taehyung calls back.
“6 minutes to intercept.” Jin interrupts.
“What do I do?” Jungkook yells back.
“Go find some more!” Taehyung shouts. “I have bigger things to deal with.”
Jungkook nods and tears out of the room, swearing continuously. It’ll be his problem to edit that out later.
“Retrieval arm is ready!” Taehyung calls from his position by the wall.
“Time to intercept: 5 minutes. Speed 1500 kilometers per hour,” Jin is beginning to sound nervous. “Are you sure you can stop it?”
“Positive,” Jimin answers. “Trust me.”
You try not to think about what will happen if Jimin got this math wrong. A meteoroid the size of a bus and made of solid iron was less than five minutes from colliding with your ship at nearly the speed of sound. You steady your breathing and look around at your crew members. They read calm on the surface, as they’ve been trained to, but you wonder how nervous they actually are.
Yoongi gets up out of the remote operated vehicle, walking over to Jimin and peering over his shoulder at the calculations. You find yourself thinking that you should have f*cked him when you had the chance.
“Speed 1000 km/hr... 800… 300…”
Jimin adjust more dials so he doesn’t over correct as the meteoroid finally reaches a manageable speed. Jungkook reappears from the hallway, sweating profusely, but still wielding the camera.
“150… 100… 75… 50…” The whole room exhales as the numbers drop lower and lower.
“5 kilometers per hour at a distance of 200 meters,” Jin finally says. “Two minutes to intercept.”
“Keep it at that speed until it gets in range of the arm,” Taehyung instructs and Jimin nods.
You rush over to Taehyung, followed closely by Hoseok and Jungkook with the camera. You get your first glimpse of the beastly meteoroid through Taehyung’s video monitors.
You’re glad you hadn’t seen it when it was coming at you faster. It’s enormous, slowly tumbling over itself as it inches closer to your ship.
“Distance of 100 meters.” The clicking of Jimin’s radar picks up faster and faster. “75 meters… 50 meters…”
Taehyung stretches the long mechanical arm out to brace for impact. You grab onto the wall for stability. Hoseok braces himself behind you, very close in these tight quarters.
“Slowing it down.” Jimin adjusts more settings, biting on his lip.
“It’s still spinning Jimin.” Namjoon radios.
“I’m working on it,” Jimin mutters as he clenches his jaw.
The whole crew hold their breath as the giant boulder spins toward you.
“In range,” Taehyung says. “Attempting contact.” Taehyung reaches out with the arm and grips the meteoroid.
The meteoroid keeps rotating, slipping past the arm and jostling the whole ship. You fall backward against Hoseok, but right yourself quickly.
“Damn,” Taehyung grunts. “Jimin! You have to slow it down more!”
“Working on it!” Jimin grimaces. Yoongi leans over, pointing at something on the tablet. Jimin nods. “I think I got it,” he calls.
The meteroiod slows its rotation even further and Taehyung pushes his control stick forward once again.
A clang rings out and the ship jostles again, but the arm catches on the meteoroid and locks into place. The meteoroid comes to rest right next to your ship, attached to the loading arm.
“Contact established!” Taehyung confirms and everyone cheers. You sigh, leaning backward into Hoseok accidentally, then straightening up quickly. Jimin smiles and leans back in his chair, arms clasped behind his head in triumph.
_____
The whole crew gathers in the observation bay to discuss the next steps. The group of you float together in the zero-g observation bay, gazing out the windows down on to the meteoroid below you, hanging off the side of your ship. The meteoroid will stay with you until you let it go, giving you plenty of time to take samples.
“Good job team,” Namjoon says as you all admire your incredible capture.
“I did a good job, didn’t I?” Jimin says, looking around for confirmation.
“You did a very good job, Jimin,” Namjoon smiles and pats the shorter man on the shoulder, causing them to drift apart slightly. Jimin nods to himself, smiling proudly.
“Who are you going to send out for samples?” Hoseok asks.
“Well,” Namjoon rubs a hand on his chin. “I need Jimin at the trap and Taehyung on the arm to make sure the meteoroid stays stationary. Jin and I will be on the bridge to supervise.”
You want to go out to the meteoroid so badly. You haven’t been on a spacewalk yet, despite years of training for one. There hasn’t been a need, not a lot of botany to do in the vacuum of space.
“Hoseok needs to go to operate the air hammer,” Namjoon continues and Hoseok grins. This will be his first spacewalk too.
“I’d like to bring my fellow science officer with me.” Hoseok says. You smile with nervous excitement.
Namjoon frowns. “Neither of you have been on a spacewalk before.” He looks over at you. “I know you haven’t gotten the chance yet, but I’d rather make sure we had someone experienced out there.” You nod, keeping a straight face, but your heart sinks in disappointment.
“I need her help to prevent contamination,”” Hoseok argues.
“I’ll go with them, Commander,” Yoongi volunteers. “I’ll keep an eye on her.” The flight engineer was one of the most experienced members of the crew. He’d been on several spacewalks already this mission to check on and maintain equipment. You wanted to argue that you didn’t need anyone to keep an eye on you, but you’ll live with the condescension if it meant you got to go.
“Commander,” Jungkook adds. “I should go too, for the footage.”
“Okay,” Namjoon nods in agreement. “We’ll send the four of you then.”
Your heart begins beating rapidly in your chest. Your first spacewalk. It’s what you’ve dreamt of since you were a little girl. You give Hoseok a big smile, so grateful for his insistence that you come along. He smiles in return, equally thrilled.
“Commander,” Taehyung says, frowning out the observation window. “I think we’re spinning.”
You look out the window and see the stars slowly drifting by. You hadn’t noticed earlier, too focused on the meteoroid.
“Well, sh*t,” Jin says. “Who’s flying this thing?”
The rest of the crew turns to look at their pilot.
“Oh right, that’d be me.” Jin laughs, pushing himself off the wall and heading back to the bridge to correct the drifting.
“Okay,” Namjoon claps his hands. “Ready the suits.”
_____
You float in the antechamber of the airlock alongside the others. Everyone has changed from their normal work jumpsuits into the cotton long johns that you wear under the suits. You have to carefully watch your gaze and make sure it doesn’t linger too long on your colleagues’ chests, arms and thighs, muscles more visible thin tight fabric.
“Pressure reducing to 0.7 atmospheres,” Jin relays over the radio. “Increasing oxygen.”
Your feet wiggle up and down in the air nervously. You’ve performed this protocol many times in training, but now your suit will be the only thing standing between you and the vacuum of space.
You shift your hips from side to side, but stop the moment you hear the crunch of your “Maximum Absorption Garment”. Whatever fancy name the ICSE gave it, it was a diaper. Hopefully there would be no need to use it, but these missions take a long time and it's not easy to hop back inside if you need to pee. You’ve run to the bathroom five times in the last hour, just to make sure you won’t need it.
“Beginning de-nitrification,” Jin informs.
You breathe in and out, trying to completely empty your lungs each time, eliminating all the nitrogen from your blood and tissues. Hoseok wiggles his knees back and forth, breathing in and out heavily and trying his hardest to follow protocol. Yoongi just closes his eyes and floats, chest rising and falling slowly. Jungkook fidgets with the settings on his camera.
“This is the worst part,” Jungkook says, looking up from his camera and noticing the way your foot twitches. “The waiting.”
You nod, trying not to look too nervous.
“Can our chief botanist go to 2 please?” Jin radios.
You switch over your radio, worried there might be a problem. “I’m here.”
“Hey,” Jin greets you, sounding very serious. “I have an important question for you.”
“Go ahead.” You bite your lip.
“Why breathe air when you can breathe oxygen?” Jin asks, tone serious.
“What?” The question makes no sense.
“Why breathe air when you can breathe oxy-Jin? Get it? Oxy-Jin!” Your pilot, bursts into laughter at his own joke. You can hear him smacking his own knee in amusem*nt over the radio and it makes you chuckle.
You laugh too, amused by how delighted he is more than the lackluster joke. “What is the matter with you?”
“Did he tell you the f*cking oxy-Jin joke?” Yoongi opens one eye.
You nod and laugh.
“He does that every goddamn time,” Jungkook adds, not bothering to look up from his camera.
“Just trying to lighten the mood. The waiting is always the worst part.”
“The distraction is nice,” you reply.
“Anytime.” He pauses. “You’ll do great, you know. All the training comes right back.”
“Thank you, Jin.” He always made you feel a bit more relaxed. You were grateful that he could both do his job well and keep the mood light-hearted.
“Alright, switching back to 1. Don’t miss this handsome face too much while you’re gone.”
“Okay,” Namjoon’s voice takes over the radio. “Into the airlock,” your commander instructs.
You enter the airlock and slip on your liquid cooling garment, a suit made of hundreds of tubes full of cold water to keep you cool inside the heavy outer suit. You make a funny squeaking sound as you slide the icy garment over your body, and Hoseok laughs.
“I’m getting vitals for everyone except Hoseok,” Namjoon radios.
Hoseok spins around in place, trying to tug his suit into place, but it’s caught on his shirt. You laugh and help him detangle. He gives you a grateful smile.
You tug your communications cap over your head and thread your headphones into it as Hoseok begins reciting the meteoroid sampling procedure to himself for the tenth time.
The rigid exterior suits hang on the walls of the airlock. You slide into the pants first, weaving your feet all the way down into the attached shoes. While they called it spacewalking, there wasn’t much walking involved. The air propulsion on the suit did most of the work of moving you around. It was a good thing too, because the pants weighed about 50 kilograms.
The hard upper torso cover is the last and most important piece, as it held all of the life support systems. You double check that all the tools you’ll need are hooked to the tool belt, before climbing inside. A large metal ring fastens your pants to the torso.
“I need to check your seal,” Yoongi says, pushing off the far wall and floating over to you. He’ll put on his suit last after he’s double-checked everyone else’s.
You’re annoyed with the way your heart beats faster as he gets closer. Even more so when he grabs ahold of your outer pants and gives them a firm tug, pulling you close to him in the zero gravity environment. Obligatory safety checks shouldn’t arouse you this much.
If Yoongi can sense the way your muscles clench when he pulls you to him, he doesn’t react. His eyes flick up to yours for a brief moment. It would be the perfect moment for a flirtatious one-liner, but instead he just mutters “all set” and pushes off the wall behind you to go check Jungkook’s suit.
You tug on your helmet and fasten it to the upper portion of your suit. Your gloves are last. You’re grateful for the cooling layer as you break out into a slight sweat from the exertion of tugging the gloves on.
“Everyone all set?” Namjoon asks on the radio. Everyone confirms.
Yoongi, now suited up as well, closes the inner door to the airlock, spinning the large wheel to ensure a tight seal, sealing you off from the rest of the ship.
“Depressurizing,” Namjoon says. “Watch for leaks.”
You watch the sensor on your wrist that measures your suit pressure, but it holds steady as the surrounding air pressure drops. No leaks.
Once everyone has confirmed they are airtight, you each hook your suit tethers to the metal rings inside the airlock that will keep you anchored to the ship.
“All tethered,” Yoongi radios, tugging on the lines on last time for good measure.
“Good luck,” Namjoon replies. Yoongi gives the thumbs-up to Jungkook who spins open the outer door, revealing the blackness of the space beyond. Yoongi goes out first, followed by Jungkook.
“Ladies first.” Hoseok gestures out the door.
You use the air compressors on your suit to propel you out the open door. There’s a moment of vertigo as your brain tries to tell you you’re going to fall, but you override it and push yourself out into the blackness. You don’t fall, but float, tethered to the ship but otherwise free. It feels the same as the zero-g of the ship, but even more bewildering when there is nothing surrounding you.
Even though you’re still breathing the same recycled air, as you look around at the vast expanse of space surrounding you, it feels like you can finally breathe again. You draw a deep breath in and can almost smell fresh air. You twist your torso back and forth with glee, testing the stretch of your suit and getting a feel for the way it moves around you outside of the cramped quarters of the space station.
This. This is why you came on this mission. This adventure, this experience that so few people ever get to have at the frontier of human knowledge. A renewed sense of purpose washes over you and for the briefest moment you forget about the seven men and tank of hormones you’ve been confined within.
“Pretty great, isn’t it?” Jungkook pulls up alongside you, grinning ear-to-ear.
“Pretty great,” you agree.
“Pretty f*cking great,” Yoongi chimes in, letting out a big satisfied sigh.
The sun is bright, even at this far distance, with no atmosphere to stand between you. Jin has angled the ship so the meteoroid side will be bathed in light for your operation. You squint and pull down the sunshield on your helmet before turning to get a better look at your target for this mission. The meteoroid is huge, so big you could walk on it. It looks even bigger now than it did from your vantage point on the observation deck.
“Come on slow pokes!” Hoseok powers his suit toward the meteoroid. “We’ve got samples to collect!” Even at this distance, you can tell the geologist is beaming.
Your ship looks so impressive out here. The Minos is the largest spacecraft ever built, the greatest feat of human engineering in the last decade. The meteoroid might be the size of a tractor trailer, but it is dwarfed by the Minos. It’s easy to forget how breathtaking your ship is when you’re trapped inside it. It was so big, it couldn’t be launched from the surface of the Earth but rather had to be launched in pieces and assembled in orbit. Construction had begun while most of the crew was still in grade school.
You and Hoseok set up at the surface of the meteoroid, near where it’s connected to the ship. Jungkook films you from a few meters away while Yoongi monitors from near where you are all hooked to the ship, taking the opportunity to do routine equipment checks of the surface sensors.
“Isn’t it amazing?” Hoseok asks as he floats next you, gesturing up at the meteoroid.
“It really is.” Hoseok beams in delight at the giant space rock. You have a sudden longing to hold his hand, just to share in this moment with him. But that’s a ridiculous idea. This isn’t a date. It’s a mission. And it’s not like you could feel him through the multi-layered gloves anyways. You squeeze your hand tight and imagine it’s holding his for just one moment as you smile at the treasure your crew landed.
“Water,” Hoseok says and you pull the squirt bottle from your belt. You select a spot in front of you, squirting the water onto the surface of the meteoroid. Hoseok fishes a scrub brush off his own tool belt and scraps it across the surface of the rock, pulling up flecks of dirt and, hopefully, microfossils. You grab a specimen bag from your own belt and help him load the contents of the brush into it. Hoseok then pulls the air chisel from his belt and carves out a chunk of rock. You ready another bag that he places the pieces into, then you both scoot a meter or so down to repeat the procedure at a new position.
“That’s what you needed her specific technical skills on?” Jungkook teases from behind the camera. “I could have held some bags for you, Officer.”
“What?” Hoseok splutters as you flush with embarrassment. “The science officer is doing a much better job than you would, specialist,” Hoseok argues, but Jungkook just laughs.
The two of you spend the next several hours combing over the surface of the meteoroid, collecting samples. By the time you’re done, you’re holding a large trash bag full of small sample bags. You’ll have to get this to the lab before they power the gravity back up, because there is no way you’ll be able to carry it. It’s still only a small sample of the whole meteoroid though.
“Time to say goodbye, I suppose,” Hoseok frowns as you seal up the last sample bag.
“At least we can touch it now.” You reach out and place your palm on the large rock. It’s warm from where it’s been baking in the sun all day.
Hoseok places his palm flat next to yours and you again feel the urge to take his hand in yours.
“Thank you,” Hoseok addresses the giant rock, patting it lovingly. “Glad we got to meet you.”
“Good luck wherever you go next,” you say in parting to the meteoroid and Hoseok smiles.
“Nerds,” Jungkook scoffs.
It is with great reluctance that you finally tear yourself away from the meteoroid and head back to the ship. The sense of foreboding gets worse as you get closer and closer to the airlock. You don’t want to be confined inside this tin can again. Not when you’ve finally tasted freedom.
The smell of gunpowder and burnt toast greets your nostrils when you finally take off your helmet inside the closed airlock, the residual off-gassing of the various plastics and metals that make up your ship. Once everyone has successfully wiggled out of their suits, Yoongi opens the inner airlock door. To your surprise, Namjoon is waiting there, arms crossed and a deep frown on his face.
“Everyone get washed and changed, meeting in one hour in the kitchen. We have a problem.”
_____
One hour later, the whole crew gathers in the kitchen. Your wet hair is cold in the ventilation of the kitchen, but you hadn’t had time to dry it after you washed it. You take your usual seat at the table, sitting on your hands to resist the urge to fidget nervously.
“What’s going on?” Hoseok asks as he takes his seat next to you.
“We’ll discuss it once everyone’s present,” Namjoon answers. It must be serious. The guilty part of your brain is convinced this must somehow be about you and Yoongi. You deleted the tape. They couldn’t about it right? Was there any way your activities with Yoongi could have been recorded? Was there a workshop camera you missed? It wouldn’t make sense to call a whole group meeting for that though.
Everyone is prompt to the meeting. You can all sense how on edge your commander is. Jungkook and Jimin arrive last and Namjoon begins.
“I just received word from the ICSE,” he begins. “They’ve been running the numbers on the meteoroid and tracking our speed. We have a problem.”
You relax slightly. This wasn’t about you. Whatever it was, it was mission-relevant problem. Those were always easier to deal with.
“Because the meteoroid was so unexpectedly massive, the amount of momentum we lost during capture is substantial.” He pauses and exhales. Your commander was a man who always chose his words carefully,
“How much did we lose?” Yoongi asks.
“Nearly a quarter of our speed,” the commander replies.
“We have extra fuel. Can’t we just speed back up after we release the meteoroid?” Jin asks.
There’s no energetic pacing from your commander today. He braces himself against the table, looking down and not making eye contact. You’ve never seen him this upset. He opens his mouth and then closes it again.
“We don’t have enough fuel to recover it all,” he finally says. “If we want to make it to Europa and back, we can only gain back about half of what we lost.”
“But then,” Jimin asks, eyes wide, “how long will it take us to get to Europa?”
Namjoon swallows. “An additional 352 days.” Audible gasps come from the men around the table. Your heart drops into your stomach. “And it adds an additional 340 days on the return trip.”
“That’s nearly two years,” you say, not really to anyone in particular, but just to process out loud.
“Two years?” Yoongi clenches his hand on the edge of the table. “We’re adding two more years?”
No, that can’t be true. There has to be something else you can do.
“There has to be something we can do,” Taehyung argues. “What about a gravity assist from Jupiter?”
“I had them run all possible scenarios,” Namjoon sighs. “I didn’t want to tell you until I had options. But unless we find another meteoroid going in the right direction, that’s the fastest we can go.”
“Do we have enough food for that?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide, hands twisting in his lap.
“The ICSE sent us with an extra 30% cushion of food supplies in case a delay like this happened.”
“There are no other options?” Jungkook asks quietly.
“There’s one option.” Namjoon leans forward on to the table. “The ICSE has given us permission to turn around and go home.”
“Go home?” Jin laughs, just as unable as you to accept what happening right now.
“Yes, it would take about 18 months to get home if we burned the extra fuel that we would have used on Europa.”
“But then this whole journey will have been for nothing.” Hoseok stares at the table and frowns.
“We’re going to take a vote,” Namjoon explains. “It has to be unanimous. If anyone wants to go home, we go home.”
You have daydreamed of this moment before. Some tragic but not too devastating catastrophe that gave you permission to abandon the mission and go home. Go home to where there was real sunshine, green grass and birds singing. Where your loved ones could hold you and tell you everything would be okay.
There’s a long pause as everyone lets the reality of the situation sink in. You’ve just barely made it two years into your mission. This delay means you’re essentially starting all the way back at square one, facing a twelve year journey all over again.
“I vote we continue.” Taehyung is the first to speak up. “The world is counting on us. It will take years to mount another mission.”
Jin and Hoseok nod in agreement. Yoongi and Jungkook stare at the table. Jimin tucks his feet up into his chair, curling in on himself. Namjoon looks at the floor.
“I agree.” Hoseok adds. “It’s not that much of an increase in the grand scheme of things. If the supplies will hold out, we should hold to the mission.”
Yoongi groans and gets up to begin pacing back and forth at the edge of the table, not saying anything.
“This is all my fault,” Jimin says, starring desolately over his knees. “I don’t know how I missed that.”
“No,” Namjoon says sternly, looking directly at Jimin. “It’s mine. The decision rested with me.”
You want to yell at both of them. They shouldn’t blame themselves for a mistake that none of you saw coming. You had all been so eager for some excitement. But your throat sticks and you know if you try to speak, you’ll cry. You can’t be the only crew member who cries.
“All in favor of continuing the mission?” Namjoon asks, looking up from the circle.
Taehyung and Hoseok raise their hands. Jimin buries his face in his knees, but raises his hand. Jungkook looks to Taehyung and then joins in the affirmative. Jin nods and puts his hand up too.
Yoongi stops pacing and looks at you. You can see in his eyes the same devastation you feel. You can’t agree to this. You can’t stay one more minute on this ship, let alone twelve more years.
But the mission is more important. This is the mission you’ve already given your entire life in service of. You’ve already given your entire career, your love life, and your future children up for this. What did two more years really add in the grand scheme of things. You raise your hand.
“f*ck,” Yoongi whispers as he raises the last hand around the table. “Okay.”
“Okay, it’s unanimous.” Namjoon looks grim. “We continue the mission. Meeting adjourned.”
Namjoon leaves immediately, perhaps to report in to the ICSE, or perhaps to get away from the devastated crew he’e left in his wake. Yoongi disappears shortly after, probably retreating to his workshop. The rest of the crew just sits, staring at the table.
The air feels so stale. You have to get out of here. You try to breathe and you can’t.
You get up from the table and flee into the hallway. Jungkook and Hoseok watch you go, but don’t say anything. There’s nothing to say. You walk the halls on the verge of a panic attack. It’s all the same stale dank air and there is no escape. You head for the only place on the ship that smells at all different, your greenhouse. The humid air fills your nose and you can breathe just a little. You sit on the floor underneath the grow lights, back against the wall. Your chest heaves as you try to breath one, two, three, four seconds in, but every second feels like another eternity that you are trapped here. You cover your mouth with your shirt, trying to breathe slowly in and out your nose. “Hello?” A voice calls from the door, but you can’t see them from behind the stacks of greenery. Hoseok’s face appears from around the stack. “Are you alright?”You laugh at the question, shaking your head. “No,” you manage to choke out. “No, I’m not.”“Yeah, I figured.” Hoseok steps inside and closes the door behind him. He’s still wearing the same shocked expression from the meeting.You feel tears welling in your eyes as he approaches you, but you swallow them down.Hoseok frowns as he sits down next to you, back against the wall next to yours. Just having him there helps ease your breathing a bit. “It’ll be okay,” he whispers, trying his best to comfort you. He reaches out a hand and looks like he might touch you, just gently pat your knee or wrap his arm around you. You ache for him to touch you, to wrap you in his arms and hold you, caress you and tell you it will be okay. He still smells so good. But he doesn’t touch you. He frowns and pulls his hand back, maintaining his professional boundaries. God, you hate this place. This cold island where you were always alone. You were going to be trapped here forever. “It’s not so bad,” Hoseok mutters, taking the hand that you want so desperately in yours and digging it into his thigh instead. “I did the math. It’s only a 17% increase in time.”Somehow, that makes its all worse. You don’t need someone to do the math for you. You need him to get the f*ck out of here so you can cry without your colleagues seeing it. “It’s two f*cking years!” you shout, voice much louder than you want it to be, but its the only way to mask the tears. “It’s like we never even left!”Hoseok flinches, before frowning and getting up off the floor. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “I was just trying to help.”You want to tell him that you appreciate it, that you are grateful for his completely ineffectual help, but the words don’t come. He leaves and you don’t say anything.
______
You sit under the grow lights until your leg starts to fall asleep. So you give up on sitting and slump over to lie on the floor instead. You replay your conservation with Hoseok in your head and feel guilty. It’s not his fault you’re trapped here. You replay the events of the last two days, wishing you had seen this coming.
The door opens. Hopefully it’s Hoseok so you can apologize. But Yoongi appears from behind the stack of tomatoes instead.
“Well, you freaked out Hoseok,” he says, plucking one of the small cherry tomatoes off the vine and eating it.
“I didn’t mean to.” You clench your jaw. What was he doing here? Did he just come to lecture you? “Stop eating my tomatoes.”
“Make me.” He pops another tomato in his mouth and smacks his lips.
You contemplate getting up, but it doesn’t seem worth it. What did it matter if he ate all your tomatoes? You have all the time in the world to grow more. None of it matters. “Don’t want to.”
Yoongi walks over to you, arms crossed. “Get up off the floor, Officer.”
“No.” You cross your arms and glare up at him.
“It’s not doing anyone any good if you just lie here and cry.” He leans against the wall, infuriatingly calm.
“I’m not crying.” Your throat constricts menacingly and you swallow down the urge to start weeping in front of him. What business was it of his if you wanted to lay on the floor and grieve? “f*ck off, Yoongi.”
He bristles at that, towering over you. “Get the f*ck up.” He pops the “p” in emphasis and has the audacity to nudge you with his foot.
“No,” you whine like a petulant child, all semblances of professionalism leaving you. Why can’t you just lie here in peace? What is his problem? It’s not like there was anywhere you needed to be.
“You don’t have any more right than any of the us of to lay on the floor and cry. You’re not the only one going through it right now.”
“I know that!” you shout up at him.
“So what’s your plan then?” He pokes you again with his foot, wearing on your very last nerve. “You’re just going to whine on the floor like a little girl?”
“What the f*ck is wrong with you?” you roar, surging up off the ground. You’re going to kill him. “I’m a professional and your colleague. You can’t speak to me like that!”
You attempt to storm out, but he’s faster than you and blocks your path, grabbing you by the shoulders. You’re so touch starved that just feeling his hands on you makes arousal begin coursing through your system. You groan as your body betrays you, glaring at the floor and avoiding his gaze.
He co*cks his head to the side, peering up at you. When you finally huff and look up at him, he smirks. “Got you up off the floor.”
“Goddamnit,” you swear, shoulders sagging as you sigh, all the fight leaving you. “I f*cking hate you.”
“That’s okay.” His hands are warm where they grip your shoulders. His thumbs rub slow, reassuring circles on your upper arms.
“I hate this place.” You sigh and let yourself sink a little further into his arms. It feels so good to have someone else close to you. His grip on you tightens as you step closer. He smells good, an undercurrent of oil and engine grease scrubbed with fresh soap.
“Me too.” His eyes are so full of warmth, desperation and need. It’s too much. Too much to be this close to him, to smell him and feel his hands on you. He seems to be feeling it too as he runs his palms across your shoulders and down your back, pulling you closer to him.
“Yoongi…” It’s not fair. He can’t do this to you, not right now. How are you supposed to resist him now? He’s so close and you’re so desperately alone.
His eyes scan your face. For a moment, you think he might kiss you, but then he turns his head and rest his forehead on your shoulder. He takes a deep breath, then sighs.
“God, I want you so badly,” he mumbles into your neck, sending a shiver coursing down your spine. “You said you wanted me,” he whispers. “Were you just pretending?”
“Of course, I want you,” you groan in exasperation. “At this point, I would want the microwave if it had a co*ck to f*ck me with.”
He picks his head up and smirks. “I have a co*ck to f*ck you with.”
“Goddamnit.” Your whole core clenches. “I can’t think when you talk like that.”
It’s been such a long time. What is the point of fighting it anymore? You know how long those extra two years will be. You’ve already lived them. And even if you stick it out until then, there’s no guarantee that you’ll ever make it off this ship. There are always more meteoroids, more accidents.
“Twelve f*cking years.” he pleads. His hands slide further down your back, gripping you around your waist and pulling you in closer.
f*ck it. He’s right. It’s too long. You’ll never hold out. It’s inevitable that you will f*ck him at some point in the next decade. Might as well be now.
“Yoongi, please,” you whisper. He misunderstands what you’re begging for and lets go of you, but you catch his hand in yours.
He looks down at your joined hands and frowns in confusion. ‘What do you want?”
Your hand tingles in his and your core throbs as you make your decision. “I want you to get me off.” You begin unzipping your jumpsuit. “Right now.”
“f*ck.” His eyes widen. “Really?”
“Really.” You let go of his hand and shrug your jumpsuit off your shoulders. “I need to come right now. I need to not think about any of this sh*t for the next 10 minutes. Can you do that for me?”
“sh*t, yes.” His hands fly to his own zipper. “What do you want?” Four words and he’s already got his jumpsuit around his ankles. “My co*ck? My tongue?” You groan as he pulls his shirt off over his head, revealing his lean torso.
God, you want all of him, all at once, but there is one thing you’ve been fantasizing about way too long. “Your fingers, please.”
He surges forward and pins you to the wall, his long meticulous fingers working their way into your underwear. The feeling of someone else’s hands on you has you dripping with arousal already. You moan as one of his fingers grazes your swollen cl*tor*s.
“Goddamn,” he smirks. “I love hearing you make those sounds.”
His fingers dip in between your folds as you feel wetness begin to seep into your underwear.
“You’re so f*cking wet,” he whispers in your ear as he slots his leg in between yours and presses you harder into the wall. “I’ve barely touched you.”
“It’s been years, Yoongi,” you groan. “Don’t think it’s about you.” You wiggle your hips so that your jumpsuit falls to the floor, giving him more room to work.
He quirks an eyebrow, taking the opening to thread his other hand up under your tanktop and into your bra, caressing your nipple.
“Oh, but I think it is about me.” He rolls your nipple between his fingers and smirks when you cry out in pleasure. “I know what you want.”
“What’s that?” You lean your head into his neck as he pumps a finger in and out of you. God, it’s so much better than anything you’ve been able to do by yourself.
“You want to be pinned to the wall. You want to moan in my hands. You want me to talk to you like I did in the video.”
“f*ck,” you gasp. “Yes, I do.”
He grins triumphantly and presses hard into your cl*tor*s, pulling more moans from you. “You want me to tell you what a little slu*t you are.”
You moan and nod as his finger tugs on your nipple and his thumb circles your cl*tor*s.
“Such an eager slu*t. Can’t even contain herself, begging me to get her off in the middle of the greenhouse. Any of the crew could walk in. See you moaning and writhing on my fingers.”
You are so close to cumming, if only he would keep a steady rhythm. But it’s as if he’s intentionally stalling. He pushes his hips into you, grinding his clothed erection into you. You reach into his underwear. He gasps when you wrap your hand around his dick.
God, it feels magnificent to have a co*ck in your hands again. Warm and hard and heavy with blood. You stroke him in time to the rhythm of his fingers pumping in and out of you.
“Hoseok doesn’t touch you like this.” Yoongi huffs as your speed on his co*ck increases. “Is that why you kicked him out?”
“I didn’t…” you try to protest but are cutoff when he pairs a hard circle of your cl*tor*s with a tug on your nipple.
“Lucky for me, he doesn’t know you like I do.” Yoongi continues. “Doesn’t know what a greedy little slu*t you are. I bet you wanted him to f*ck you on the floor of this greenhouse and he just wanted to talk.”
You groan. His rhythm is getting more and more consistent, fingers pushing up inside you as his thumb rocks back and forth on your cl*t. You’re going to fall apart any minute now.
“That’s okay. I got you, little girl. I’m going f*ck you until you can’t think straight.”Your c*nt clenches around his hand.“That’s it,” he grunts. “Come on my fingers.”
You lose it, crying out as your org*sm tears through you. He doesn’t slow down for a second, working you through your entire org*sm. It feels like you are coming for hours. It’s not until you hiss and pull away that he relents, yanking down his underwear and turning his skillful hands to his co*ck.
“f*ck,” he swears as he strokes himself. “Please let me f*ck you.” His unoccupied hand trembles. “Please, I think I might die.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” f*cking him would take too long. Every second that passes is a second that your other crew members could walk in.
“Please, please…” he grovels, biting his lip.
“Shh…” you drop to your knees. “I’ve got you.”
“Holy sh*t.” His eyes widen as he realizes what you’re about to do. “Oh god, yes, please.”
You smirk, enjoying the shift in power. You flick your tongue out and lick just the tip.
“No,” Yoongi growls, banging his hand hard into the wall. “Don’t you dare f*cking tease me right now.”
“You sure?” You lick a long slow trail up his gorgeous co*ck. “It’ll all be over so soon then.” It’s so hard to resist sucking him down immediately.
“Please, f*ck, please,” he grips your chin and tilts your face up to him. “I’m not going to make it.”
“Alright.” You grin and swallow him down as far as you can. You would never have guessed how badly you’ve missed making a man fall apart like this. His co*ck is warm and firm on your tongue and his hands shake as he grabs your chin and weaves his fingers into your hair.
“Oh my god,” he groans as you begin working him in earnest. “f*ck, don’t stop.” You murmur in confirmation that you are definitely not stopping, sending vibrations through his dick. “I’m going to come.”His balls pull upward as his grip tightens in your hair.You pull him closer to you, gripping him tightly by the hips. You dive down as deep you can go and he cries out.
He comes as you swallow around him. You gag slightly as he fills your mouth. It’s been so long, you’ve forgotten how bitter it is. But you swallow it down anyways. Can’t be spitting cum out on the greenhouse floor.
“Holy f*cking sh*t,” he gasps, voice choked. You look up to watch a single tear roll down his cheek.
“Are you crying right now, Officer Min?” You pull off, wiping your mouth and laughing.
“Shut up,” he says, but gives you the most contented smile. “That was incredible.”
You lean back on your heels and smile. “Guess I implemented with full commitment.”
“What?” he asks, still breathing heavily.
“Nothing.” You laugh before standing up.
He manages to get his underwear back on before needing to pause and catch his breath, leaning against the wall. “If you tell me this was a one time thing right now, I will throw myself out the airlock.”
“No,” you laugh. “I suspect that will happen again. Just don’t tell anyone okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
_____
Part Four
